Page 95 of Burn Like An Angel

“It’s okay, guava girl. No one is going to make you sleep if you don’t want to.”

Arms thrown around his neck, I break down in hysterical tears. Raine lets me cling to him, covering his fresh shirt in moisture. If I could share my invisibility, I’d extend it to him. He can run with me.

“What were you thinking?” he mutters above my lowered head. “She needs to feel safe and supported. We have no idea what’s going on inside her head right now.”

“I’m trying to help!” Xander booms.

“By scaring her? Great plan.”

“I just thought…”

“No, Xan. She’s a person. You can’t take her choice away even if you think it’s for the best.”

I’m grateful when they all shut up. The frenzied voices yelling in my head are making it difficult to focus.

“Come on,” Raine coaxes, clutching me tightly. “Did you know I had panic attacks for months after I lost my sight?”

“N-No,” I stammer.

“My sensitive hearing made it feel like the entire world was screaming at me. The trauma centre assigned me a therapist. He told me to picture a giant ocean wave crashing over me when I was panicking.”

“I’m not… This isn’t… I’m not panicking! I just don’t want to rest!”

He rubs up and down my back. “I know. You don’t have to. But I do want you to try and calm down.”

His fresh scent is seeping into me, drawing me into the dream of a warm summer’s day on the beach. Sipping orange juice and dipping my toes into the salty ocean. Content. Invisible. Free.

“The waves I imagine sparkle in the sunlight,” Raine murmurs soothingly. “And I sometimes picture dolphins dipping in and out of them.”

“Dolphins?” I whimper.

“Why not? It’s my imagination. You can picture a massive pink unicorn swimming along if that’s what you want. Give it a try.”

Ignoring the sounds of heavy breathing and moving footsteps behind us, I desperately yank together my mind’s frayed strands. I can do this for Raine. It’s just a silly game.

Hands fisting in his t-shirt, I screw my eyes shut. The blackness of my closed lids fades as my vision takes shape. Shimmering, aqua waves, topped with a light-white froth. Gleaming sunshine. Squalling seagulls.

“Let the wave roll over you,” Raine encourages just loud enough for me to hear. “Feel the water. The bubbles. The current carrying you along.”

“W-What if I drown?”

“You won’t. It’s perfectly safe to let yourself bob along, floating on the water. Let it crash over you and wash everything else away.”

The sobs ripping out of me slowly begin to ease as I picture calm waves falling over me. The water feels like silk. It kisses my skin and warms my bones, pushing out the intense energy that’s been tormenting me.

“That’s it.” Raine strokes the back of my head. “Deep breaths. Did you see the unicorn yet?”

“A whale,” I breathe out unsteadily. “Beluga.”

“Okay, we can work with that. Keep going.”

His hand moves rhythmically over my spine. Each stroke mirrors the waves that have filled my head, swelling up and undulating with the swirling current. White, pearlescent whales pop their head up and squeal.

I’m not sure how long we stand there for, lost in our heads and ignoring the entire world. Long enough for terror to set in when I realise how out of control I’m feeling right now.

“I… don’t f-feel so good,” I hiccup.

“I know.” Raine blows out a long breath. “Tell us what you need.”

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