Page 30 of Clonely You

“I would love to have sex with you, but if you’re not ready, then that won’t be on the table. But perhaps you’ll let me make your butter for a day. And then we’ll come home and I’ll kiss you and pleasure you. It will be about you instead of about me.”

Just thinking about letting him handle my butter for a day has me sweating. That’s the part I’m struggling with the most, because I already like his kisses and caresses. “I’m ready for sex. You think this will help me get over my control issues? If I let you take over for the day?”

“I don’t know if it will get rid of them entirely, but I think it will prove to you that the world doesn’t end if you do.”

Right. Okay. There’s no need to panic just yet. It’s just a bit of control. It’s just for one day. It’s just one or two batches of butter.

So…why am I sweating already?

“When are we doing this?” I ask in a light, panicky tone. “Now?”

“Tomorrow.” He brushes his lips over my cheek. “I’ll tell the others I need the day off from my work station and get someone to cover my shift. Then I will come over and we will make butter together.”

“Together? That’s not so bad.”

“Correct. You will tell me how to proceed and I will be the one doing all the work.”

I take it back. That’s bad. “And after that…?”

“After that, you and I talk about where we’re going from here. No judgments. No pressure. Just an honest discussion of the best path forward in all ways.”

It sounds sensible. Practical. We work through some of my fears by confronting them, and then have a discussion of what the future looks like. Does it include a bounty hunter finding my sister? A butter monopoly in the area?

Does it include Aithar? He’s never pushed me for more. He’s always been quietly supportive and let me lead.

But tomorrow changes everything, and I’m suddenly terrified of what that might mean.

CHAPTER

TWELVE

MICHAELA

I don’t sleep well.How can I? I stare at the ceiling for half the night, my mind going through a dozen worst-case scenarios.

Aithar ruins a batch of butter. Aithar breaks one of the butter machines. Aithar makes butter better than I do and I feel like a hack.

Aithar and I have sex and then he dumps me.

My head is full of terrible things that could happen, constantly pulling new fears out. What if Aithar doesn’t like sex with me? What if I can’t let him do all the things he wants to do to me? What if I freak out and he gets disappointed and abandons me? What if he realizes I’m a terrible person and gives up on me?

After a few hours of restless panic, I get out of bed and stalk the house, looking for something to do. I eye the walls. There are no baseboards, but I wonder if there’s scrubbing needed anyhow. There might be dust trapped against the join where the wall meets the floor. I get down on my hands and knees with a duster, a sponge, and an old toothbrush and clean thealien version of grout until dawn. When that’s done, I eye my furniture. There’s an end table that doesn’t sit quite right on the floor…

The doorbell rings an hour or two later. I look up from the table leg I’m sanding, sawdust all around me. Is it time already? My stomach twists in a worried knot. Brushing off my nightgown, I get to my feet and crack open the door, peering out.

It’s Aithar all right, with a beaming smile on his face. He looks good, I decide. His uniform fits his body well and his hair has grown out a little, into a thick black cap of shorn hair instead of just a buzz. It suits him and emphasizes his dark eyes and chiseled features. He eyes me and his expression immediately changes to one of concern. “Michaela! You look exhausted. Are you well?”

I hesitate and then let him in, even though I want to slam the door in his face and tidy up before he can see the mess I’ve made. “I had trouble sleeping so I did a bit of work. If you want to come back, I’ll clean up?—”

“No, no. I don’t care if it’s a mess in here.” He steps inside my home and immediately pulls me into a bear hug. “Are you ready for today?”

“Am I a jerk if I say no?”

“Not at all. I would be surprised if you were looking forward to this day’s events with enthusiasm. You will be relinquishing control and that has to bother you…even if I do plan on giving you multiple orgasms.” He grins at me. “Look forward to that part, at least?”

I manage a small smile. Orgasms only happen when one is relaxed and I don’t know if I’m going to be relaxed enough at any point in this day for that to happen. “You bet.”

He rubs his hands together and looks around my home. “Why don’t you sit down and I will make you your morning meal?”

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