Page 64 of Alamort

Damn, I slept a whole day away. I feel slightly better, thanks to River sneaking in a real pain pill. Maybe that’s why I’m so drowsy. Why is she even awake at this time?

“Pri? Can I ask you something?”

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Even if I were to say “No, go to sleep.” She’d still ask.

“Yeah.”

“Why aren’t you like the other girls here?”

The sensation of my eyebrows coming together causes my eyes to squint and the moonlight to become a blurry haze.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, you’re not as stuck up as I would assume someone who has never had to work a day in their life would be. You’re not belittling and bringing people down.”

“Is Amber bothering you, Riv?”

“No, it’s not that. When I first heard I was getting someone on the third floor with me, I thought you’d be someone like Amber and you’re not what everyone expected.” This feels like judging a book by its title or whatever they say. I don’t know what to tell her, so I shrug.

“You don’t wear the same name brand clothes as they do.”

“That’s because my parents didn’t allow me to wear name brand clothes.”

“Why?” she asks quietly.

A sigh involuntarily escapes me, craving to steer clear of these types of questions. I thought shit got deep at 2 am not 3:30.

“I don’t know, River. My parents said it was a privilege I didn’t deserve. I only got name brand things whenever I was needed to go to an event or show my face to the public with them.”

“You don’t talk like them.”

“No one ever really talked to me but my sister. She’s all I had to go by. So, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

“You’re really quiet. The way you carry yourself is different. The etiquette and manners seem off compared to what I’ve seen since my family came into money.”

She’s just a chatty Kathy tonight. I’m quiet because my dad would beat me more than usual if I spoke out of turn. I have nothing to be stuck up about. Everything I love and cared for is gone.

“Go to bed, River.” I throw the blankets over her and turn over. This conversation makes me uncomfortable. I’m not usedto being put on the spot and asked questions like this. I’ve never had to explain it to someone before. My sister just knew. She watched me live through most of it.

My sister. The thought makes my stomach turn. Someone needs to remember her the right way when I’m gone. Or maybe if we’re together it wouldn’t matter anymore. They could remember us or not and it would be okay because my life would’ve been what it was always supposed to be. I’m nothing without her.

“Are your parents coming to the Parent’s Day?” She’s not taking the hint. I huff at her incessant badgering.

“No, River. In case you haven’t gathered it yet, my parents don’t fucking like me.”

“Oh.”

She wants more from me. Prodding isn’t something she usually does, leaving me to wonder what’s going on that’s sparked the sudden interest. A part of me feels guilty. Maybe she just wants to fill the silence with talking and I’m just shutting her out and leaving her alone. Something people have done to her before and that’s the reason she’s more timid tonight. I don’t want to be that person.

With a sigh, I give in and turn around to face her in the dark. She’s staring off into space, not really here with me. Fuck, I’m such a bitch. Who am I to think she buries her trauma and not relive it every night? Whenever we’re together, I always end up dozing off before she does, and to make matters worse, she didn’t have to stay here and monitor me.

“When is Parent’s Day?”

“The weekend after Halloween.”

My eyes dart to the kitchenette, where a school calendar hangs on the wall. Halloween. My birthday, the first one without my sister to make it worth more than another day. I don’twant to spend one year without her… I could make this my last birthday. River’s gasp breaks through the sinister thoughts.

“Ohmigosh! There’s going to be a Halloween party this year. Well, there is every year, but it’ll be your first one here. They’re legendary! We have to go! The theme for last year was a gothic/Victorian era. The year before that was Alice in Wonderland, and in my first year here they did a haunted house theme. The Demons are assholes but they know how to throw a party.”

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