Page 30 of Taming a Ruthless Heart

Tommy falls silent, and I can tell he’s mulling over my words, weighing them against his own instincts.“All right,” he says finally, though his tone is far from convinced.“If you’re sure about this, I’ll back you.But I’m telling you, Dave, keep your eyes open.Trust is a luxury we can’t afford in our world.”

“I know,” I reply, though the words feel heavy, like a lie I’m telling myself as much as him.

There’s a pause, the kind that stretches just a little too long, filling the space between us with unsaid things.Finally, Tommy speaks again, his voice softer, almost hesitant.“Are you sure this isn’t just...you wanting to believe her?Because it’s her?”

The question hangs in the air, and for a moment, I don’t know how to answer.He’s right, of course.Part of me wants to believe her because I need to, because the thought of her betraying me again is more than I can bear.But it’s more than that.It’s the way she looked at me, the way she trusted me with her secrets, her scars.That’s not something you fake.

“It’s not just that,” I finally say, keeping my voice low, measuring the words.“I trust her because I know her.Maybe not the way I once did, but enough to know she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t need me.If she wasn’t telling the truth.”

Tommy sighs again, but this time there’s a note of resignation in it, an acceptance of sorts.“Just...be careful, okay?I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces if this goes south.”

“Yeah.I will.”I hang up, the weight of his words settling over me like a shroud.I stare at the empty glass in my hand, the faint smell of whiskey still lingering in the air, mingling with the scent of leather and wood polish.

The unease creeps in again, that same nagging sense that there’s something I’m missing.It’s a feeling I’ve learned to trust over the years, one that’s saved my life more times than I can count.But this time, it’s different.This time, it’s tangled up in things I don’t want to face, feelings I’ve buried deep.

I pour myself another drink.I want to believe I’m doing the right thing, that trusting Alexia isn’t a mistake.But I can’t shake the feeling that the truth is just out of reach, waiting for me to find it.I take a long sip, the warmth spreading through my chest, and I close my eyes, letting my mind drift back to the past, to the days before everything went to hell.Back when Alexia and I were just two people in love, before the world tore us apart.Before her betrayal that still lingers between us like a ghost.

But that’s the thing about ghosts—they never really go away.They haunt you, reminding you of everything you’ve lost, everything you’ve buried.And no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape them.

I open my eyes, the weight of the past pressing down on me, and I know that no matter how much I want to believe in her, no matter how much I want to trust her, there will always be that shadow of doubt.Because in this world, trust is a weapon as much as it is a gift.And I can’t afford to give it blindly.

Not again.

As I finish the drink, a single thought lingers, sharper than the burn of the whiskey: I need to find the missing piece of this puzzle, whatever it takes.Because until I do, I’ll never really know if I can trust her.

And that uncertainty—that’s the real danger.The one I can’t afford to ignore.

12

Alexia

Rose, Dave, and I have a lovely dinner together, giving me the false impression we could be normal people leading ordinary lives.I try not to read too much into the lingering looks I exchange with Dave.And, I tell myself he’s being just polite when he guffaws at Rose’s cute and innocent remarks.I can’t fall for the idea that he might be thinking our situation will last.This is all temporary.I have to keep reminding myself of that all the time.If I don’t, I’ll have my heart ripped from my chest when I realize Dave doesn’t feel the same way I do.I can’t afford that paralyzing pain, not on top of all the real life-threatening problems we are facing right now.

That’s why I don’t try to convince Dave to stay with us when he refuses Fran’s offer of her delicious Crème Brûlée, saying he’s got business to attend to in the study.

After Rose and I finish eating the dessert, we settle in the library and I read her books until she can’t keep her eyes open.I carry her out of the room and down the long corridor, her small arms wrapped around my neck, and her cheek nestled against my shoulder.My steps echo softly, the opulent silence pressing down around us.It’s a world away from the life I used to know, filled with the noise of Igor’s men, the distant clink of guns and chains, and the hushed whispers of conspiracies in the night.

Yet, as I walk through these muted hallways, a sliver of unease worms its way back in.Every step I take echoes down the corridor, a reminder that no matter how beautiful the walls, they can still trap me.The quiet here feels unnatural, almost fragile—a veneer of peace stretched thin over the lurking threats outside.

When I reach Rose’s room, I push open the door with my foot, and a soft glow from a small lamp illuminates the space.I pull down the fluffy quilt and soft sheets to lay her down beside her beloved stuffed dog, aptly named Doggy, that has seen countless hugs.

Rose stirs, her emerald eyes fluttering open.She smiles up at me, still half-dreaming.I sink to my knees beside her, smoothing the quilt over her tiny body, and press a kiss to her forehead.Her scent—a mixture of baby lotion and a faint hint of lavender from her bath—wraps around me, and for a moment, I pretend that I’m not hiding secrets that could shatter her world.

“Mama, will you stay with me?”she murmurs, her voice a sleepy whisper.

“Of course, moy zaychik,” I reply, my voice just as soft.I curl up beside her, pulling her into my arms, feeling her warmth.She’s the one pure thing in my life, the one thing I did right.Everything I’ve endured, all the mistakes I’ve made, were worth it just to have her here with me.

As her breathing evens out, I brush my fingers through her golden curls.They’re so much like mine, when I was younger, when I was happy with Dave.My throat tightens as I remember the stolen glances, the nights spent by the lake, dreaming of a future that felt so tangible then.I had no idea that our perfect world was a mirage, that I’d be forced into a life of deception and fear.

Those memories stir a glimmer of the man Dave used to be, the man who taught me to play the piano, who knew my favorite flowers, who could make me laugh with just a silly expression on his gorgeous face.

But that man is gone, replaced by someone steeped in violence, harder, colder, and wrapped in shadows.Yet, over the past three days, I saw glimpses of the man I fell for.I stroke Rose’s hair and feel the weight of my secrets pressing heavier than ever.

I stare into her green eyes.It’s impossible to ignore.Rose’s eyes are Martha’s, vivid and piercing.Dave has to have noticed by now—he adored his mother, knew every detail of her face.How much longer can I keep this from him?

The thought sends a fresh wave of panic crashing through me.How much longer can I keep this secret?Dave wanted a family of his own; I know what losing his mother did to him.And if he figures it out—if he realizes Rose is his daughter—it’ll change everything.I’m not ready for that day, and yet it’s creeping closer.The truth is like a storm on the horizon, dark and inevitable.

Rose’s small hand reaches up to touch my cheek, her eyes closed.“Love you, Mama,” she murmurs.

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