Page 45 of Taming a Ruthless Heart

“Alexia,” he groans, his voice rougher than before.“You don’t have to carry it all alone.”

His words hit me harder than they should, and I have to look away, blinking back the sudden sting of tears.He doesn’t know, and he can’t know, how much weight I’m carrying.I can’t tell him what I know about Igor without risking his life.

“Sometimes,” I manage, forcing a smile, “it feels like that’s all I know how to do.”I shake my head and add, “Rose is my only concern.After you and the Syndicate take care of Igor, I will be able to breathe.”

He scans my face, a flicker of an emotion—maybe regret—shadowing his expression.I wonder what he’s hiding.When he finally looks away, it feels like I’ve lost something all over again.

I follow Dave’s stare.His gaze is glued to Rose and Pete.The kids are drenched and dripping as they plot their next move against Nadya, who’s already bracing herself for another onslaught of splashes.They form their own world, caught in a bubble of innocence and joy.

Dave leans back beside me, one arm draped over the back of my chair, close enough that the heat of his skin radiates through my muscles.I take a deep breath, the salty breeze saturating my lungs.For a moment, I allow myself the illusion of peace.

But illusions are fragile.They shatter when reality presses too close.

I catch myself glancing at Dave out of the corner of my eye, watching him watch Rose.His expression is soft, unguarded.There’s a tenderness that takes me aback.I have that exact look on my face whenever I watch Rose.It’s a look so vulnerable that it makes me ache.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”He breathes as if he doesn’t want to break the spell cast over the moment.“The way they play, how easy it all feels.”

I swallow past a lump forming in my throat.“Yes, it’s almost normal.”

The word barely leaves my lips before the pang it carries hits me like a brick wall.

Normal.

A life where Rose could know her father without this wall of secrets between them.Where I could trust that she’s safe and that we could be a family.

His hand shifts on the back of my chair, fingers inching closer, almost brushing against the fabric of my silk blouse.There’s a raw vibration in the air.Does he feel it, too?I don’t know if it’s comfort or yearning.These feelings are tangled in a knot that only tightens the longer I stay around him.

“Earth to Alexia!”He nudges me back into the moment.I turn my attention to him.A soft smile curves his lips.“You seem so far away.”

“I was just…” I hesitate, afraid of the honesty creeping into my words.“Just thinking how grateful I am for your help.For the way you’ve been with Rose.For everything you’re doing.”Gratitude warms my chest, but I am also conflicted.I know it comes with a price—a truth I’m still hiding.

He shrugs.“It’s no great deal.”

I smile.“You’ve never accepted credit well.Always so quick to play down your part, like it’s nothing.”

He doesn’t respond, only shifts his gaze back to the kids.The muscles in his jaw tighten.Maybe he feels it too, the weight between us, the thin threads of a life we almost shared.

My heart twists, the memories of last night slipping back into my mind.The way he looked at me, touched me, like he never wanted to let go of me.I can’t fall for that illusion, though.Once Igor is not a threat, I doubt Dave will want us around any longer.

My thoughts coil around me.Dave has always denied the label of hero, despite always making the right choices, always telling it as it is.But what does that make me?A villain for hiding his daughter from him?Even if I did it for the right reasons.How could I explain to him that I only wanted to keep her safe?Hell, I was trying to keep him safe by avoiding a war.Would that warmth in his eyes turn to ice?Would he look at me the way he stares down his enemies?

I can’t breathe.The fear of losing him paralyzes me.At the same time, part of me hopes against all logic that he could forgive me.Maybe, despite everything, he might understand I did what I thought was best for everyone—except me.

His voice breaks the silence, pulling me from my thoughts.“You’d do anything to keep her safe, wouldn’t you?”

I meet his gaze, holding it for a heartbeat before answering in a raspy voice, “Yes.Anything.”

He nods and I feel it again—that same pang of longing for a life that could’ve been ours.His fingers inch a little closer; the warmth from his hand is like an unspoken promise, or maybe just a ghost of what I wish could be.

The kids’ laughter reaches us again, a reminder of the innocence they still have.I can’t help but wonder how long it will last before the truth inevitably has to come out.

Dave’s fingers brush mine before he covers my hand resting on the table.His touch sends a current through me, grounding and electrifying all at once.We both freeze, neither of us daring to move, caught in a delicate balance.Although I know this can’t last, that doesn’t stop me from wishing that maybe, somehow, it could.

As if he could read my mind, Dave gives me a reassuring smile.It feels like a sign of his own unspoken hopes that we could be more than allies.This smile makes it too easy to imagine a life where he’d keep us both, where I wouldn’t have to guard every word.

But real life isn’t like that—at least, not for someone like me.I’m a woman who’s never stopped loving the father of her child.Yet I’ve been lying to him, and everyone else, about it for five years.

We can’t go on like this forever.I’m aware of that.

---