Page 43 of Resisting the Alien Rider

“No. That is what I am trying to tell you. Oaken did not kill my father.” Garrek stared grimly down at me. “I did.”

16

GARREK

Ifully expected Magnolia, who by all accounts sounded like she’d grown up in a warm and loving family, to recoil from me then.

She did not. Her lips parted, and pain misted her eyes. Her skin looked so very soft. I wanted badly to brush my knuckles along the fine line of her cheek. To catch one of her curls between my claws, just so I could hold a little part of her.

“Oh, Garrek.” Her voice was like music, the kind that hurt to hear. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re not the one who killed him.”

“No. Not like that. I’m sorry you had to go through something like that.”

Go through it. She spoke as if it were an event that had merely happened to me, instead of something I had done, my actions throwing my own life, and Oaken’s, entirely off-course.

“What’s done is done,” I grunted. “It was more than twenty cycles ago now.”

“I know. It’s just that… I feel like I’ve gotten to know you a bit by now.” Her eyes searched my face. “I’ve gotten the sense of you, Garrek. And I know you wouldn’t have done something like that without a good reason.”

“Oh, really? And why is that?” I’d tried to infuse my words with a punishing sort of venom. But they just came out sounding so tired.

She met my gaze steadily. By the Empire, but she was beautiful.

“Because I know that you’re a good man.”

Her words rattled me more than I cared to admit. It was like using her soap on my wounds earlier. There was pain, but a satisfying sort. Like maybe that pain might accomplish something real one day. Like maybe it could help.

“You should go to sleep,” I finally said. “We have an early morning.”

“Right. We’re getting back on the road.” She did not say it with her previous enthusiasm. She’d been nearly giddy about travelling before, so excited to meet Oaken. Now, I knew a little bit more about why. And it made my next words necessary.

“You’re going to start riding lessons. So you can ride a shuldu on your own.”

Surprise stretched her features.

“Oh! OK. Um. Thank you.”

It felt wrong to acknowledge her thanks when the reason I wanted her to learn to ride on her own was so that I no longer had to share my mount with her. Because I didn’t think I could stand it anymore.

I had to put more space between us. For Oaken’s sake, and for her own. She’d just told me how meaningful coming here to marry him was. And I could not stand in the way of that.

I would want her from a distance. I didn’t think there was anything to be done about that, now.

It seemed inevitable I always would.

“What about your bedroll?”

“Don’t start,” I groaned, no energy left to argue with her.

“But-”

“I just want you to have it, Magnolia.” She froze as my gaze pierced hers. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Alright,” she whispered. “Goodnight, Garrek.”

She lingered, as if waiting for me to say something else.

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