Page 33 of Chasing Mr. December

As if he knows what I’m thinking, he clarifies, “The only good thing that came from our marriage was my daughter.”

With this, I can’t help but look at him more closely. His expression is hard to read in the moonlight as he peers out into the distance. From everything I’ve heard, he’s devoted every free moment to Joy. I’ve no doubt he would’ve fought for her even if her sorry ass mother hadn’t have abandoned her.

“Not that it’s worth anything to you, but I never had the chance to apologize. Figured I’d take my shot before you throat punch me or feed me to the sharks.” He draws his legs up from the cliff’s edge before standing to his full height. “I’m sorry, Jase. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to know how awful I feel about everything. Even if I was under the illusion that she loved me, you deserved a conversation before I acted on it.” He takes a few steps away before turning back. “Shit, areal man would’ve walked away out of respect for his friend. I was selfish and pathetic. I’ll go to my grave knowing it was the biggest regret of my life.”

Ian starts to walk off to where I assume his car is parked, but stops short. “Despite all the bad blood between us, you’re the best man I’ve ever known. If you have any feelings for my sister… Well, the only guy I know who’s good enough for her is you. Don’t throw away something amazing because you’re worried about history repeating itself.” It’s as if no time has passed. He still knows me well enough to hit the nail on the head.

Fucker.

Chapter 23

Quinn

It’s been three weeks. Three agonizing weeks. I can’t help feeling empty and dejected since Jason returned to Sycamore Mountain. In the long run, it may not have made a difference, but I didn’t get the goodbye I wanted. If I had made it to the tree lighting, would it have changed anything?

Grow up, Quinn.Some hot sex doesn’t entitle you to more. You were merely a convenient hook up while he was here.

Surfing through the options, I scroll to the Hallmark channel to see which Christmas movie is on and immediately change my mind. I can’t handle sappy romance with a happily ever after right now. I’m too hurt. It’d only remind me that my life is no fairy tale.

Knock, knock.

My head drops back against the couch, and I let out a frustrated exhale. I really don’t want to put my fake face on and pretend everything’s okay. Whether it’s Callie, Ian, or my dad, I just want to be left alone to wallow tonight.

Knock, knock.

Ugh! I push myself up and shlep over to the front door. Hope it’s one of the three of them since I’m already in my jammies. Looking down before reaching for the doorknob, I realize I’m wearing the ones decorated in Christmas lights with a tank top that readsLet’s Get Lit.

Swinging the door open, my eyes spring wide when I find Jason standing on my porch holding a bouquet of gorgeous white blooms and fragrant greenery, the familiar light scent of jasmine penetrating the space between us. The sight of him warms the hollow ache in my chest until I remember to keep my guard up. Whether I miss him like crazy or not, the jerk face left without a word, and my heart hasn’t healed. I’m not prepared to allow him to cause any further damage.

“Hi.” His normally sexy voice sounds timid. I guess I’m not the only one feeling guarded.God, why does this have to hurt so much?

“Hi,” I reply. The polite thing to do would be to let him in, but regardless of the flowers, if this conversation is going to cement that this one-sided relationship was all in my head, I don’t need to replay it occurring in my house.

“I know it’s late, and I’ve come unannounced. But I was hoping we could go somewhere and talk.” He seems to shift agitatedly as he stands before me.

Looking down at my attire, I peer back up at him and tilt my head as if to say,For real?

His enchanting blue eyes bore into mine. “You look beautiful, Quinn.” His voice is so soft and sincere it’s doing a number on my resolve. When I hesitate a bit too long, he adds, “It’s perfect, actually. And no pressure. I’ll bring you back home whenever you’re ready.” He holds out the flowers for me, and I can’t help but pull them in for a long inhale.

“Let me grab my coat.”What are you doing, Quinn?You should’ve just said you’d meet him at Mug Life for coffee tomorrow. But who am I kidding? I don’t have it in me to send him away. Not after aching for him the way I have.

We climb into Jason’s truck and ride in uncomfortable silence, each of us quietly sneaking cautious glances at the other as he drives. About twenty minutes later, it’s clear we’re headed toward his dad’s home, and my nerves begin to jump.

He drives past his father’s place and turns onto the dirt road that leads to the Christmas tree farm.

My happy place.

Oh, please don’t ruin it for me, I inwardly plead.

“Thank you.”

My head springs up, utterly confused. “For what?”

He tilts his head in the direction we’d just traveled. “My dad told me how you’ve looked out for him over the years. As if I needed another reason…” Jason’s head drops between his shoulders, and I bite my lower lip, deciding to let him speak his peace without interjecting. Regardless of the direction the conversation takes. “It means a lot to me.”

Once Jason parks the truck, he turns to face me, takes a noticeable breath, and begins. I give him a reassuring smile, my heart thudding in my chest.

“I wanted to apologize for not coming to find you to say goodbye before I left.” He pauses, as if trying to find his words. “I need to be completely honest with you. When I was standing alone at the Christmas tree lighting, surrounded by couples and families, a familiar wave of rejection hit me like a ton of bricks. All of those feelings of humiliation and betrayal came rushing back, just like it was yesterday. It felt like I was having a panic attack. I needed to get out of there.”

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