Page 63 of Baby Maker

Now, the trips down memory lane only serve to remind me of a new love that walked into my life.

A love I threw away.

"We didn't have a fight, but I ruined it, nonetheless."

Bridget grabs my hand, leading me to the sofa. "Sit. I'll pour us some wine, and you're going to tell me what happened in Cape Cod."

So I do. I relive every moment, ending with the slideshow of Nigel and my subsequent breakdown.

By the time I'm done, I'm sobbing. Again. "I ruined it, Bridget. I took something so beautiful, and I destroyed it. What's wrong with me?"

Her eyes glisten with understood pain. The pain she lived through herself after Ben died. "Not a damn thing. Memories back up on us, at the most inopportune times. I've had meltdowns in front of Simon."

"You didn't kick him out of your life, though."

"I didn't let him in, either. Not for a long time. I felt like my grief belonged to me, and he couldn't understand it. But that was terribly unfair. He wanted to understand, but I had to open myself up to the idea of someone else in Ben's place."

"I miss Keegan, but I feel like I'm cheating on Nigel. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but when I saw those photos, I felt like I’d been unfaithful.”

Bridget nods, slugging back some wine. This topic is sensitive for us both. "I get that, too. But that's not the case. What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? I ruined things with Keegan. He hates me, I'm sure."

"No, he doesn't. He loves you. Do you love him?"

I close my eyes, thinking back to that night together. Our gazes holding, screaming volumes while our mouths were silent. "I do. So much."

"Then I think you need to have a talk. But, be prepared to open up a bit. He needs to know you’re willing to move forward with him.”

"What if he doesn't want me anymore?”

"Only one way to find out, Calliope."

She’s right. Keegan has been a steady hand in our relationship since the beginning. Never demanding, always understanding. It’s time for me to take the reins for a while. I only hope I’m not too late.

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