Page 71 of Baby Maker

“He asked me to move to Long Island with him. He got offered this ridiculous position.”

“That’s a fantastic opportunity for you, and it certainly sounds like he wants a future with you. So, why are you hiding in your bed?”

“Not that simple. He wanted us to ease into it. Start out as neighbors.” I expect my friend to rear back with anger, but instead, he skews his mouth before shrugging. “You don’t think that’s terrible? That’s why I said no, obviously.”

“And obviously, I don’t know why.”

“Neighbors, Simon? Come on.”

“You ripped his heart out, Calli. He’s being careful. What do you want him to do?”

My shoulders sag under the weight of his words. That entire dinner, I figured it was me in the right, filled with righteous anger that Keegan didn’t want to put a ring on it and rush me to the altar. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but I swore that night on Cape Cod, there was something there. We were on the same page.

Until we weren’t.

The reason why we weren’t? I changed course without consulting him. Keegan reacted to me.

This whole situation is my fault.

“You’re crazy about him. He’s crazy about you.”

Might as well spill all the dirt from last night. “He wasn’t crazy about the idea of me having a child with Nigel.”

A look of realization crosses Simon’s face. “Ah, yeah, I can see where that would be an issue.”

“How is it an issue? I met him when I went to his office, wanting to have Nigel’s baby. Besides, Keegan doesn’t want marriage and a family.”

“Neither did I until I met Bridget. Things change when you fall in love.”

“I asked him if he wanted children. He said he didn’t know. I said I couldn’t base my life on a series of possibilities.”

“Calliope, that’s all life is. You, of all people, know that. Come on, if the roles were reversed, you’d be livid and heartbroken right now. What did you expect him to say?”

“I don’t know.” I pick at the blanket, averting my gaze. “Yes, I do. I wanted him to tell me how he wanted me. Forever.”

“You want him to be all in when you’re not?”

This talk, which I thought would make me feel better, is instead showcasing the long list of mistakes I’ve made where Keegan is concerned. “He wanted me to sell the house.”

“You hate this house.”

“But, it’s my house with Nigel.”

“Calliope, remember your parent’s house in Scotland? You loved that place, but after our friend died, you hated it. To quote you, it felt like a mausoleum instead of a hideaway. When your parents sold it, you did a dance of joy. You told me that you felt like a burden had been lifted. You weren’t the only one. I loved that house too, but it became a shrine more than a home.”

“You think I made the wrong choice?”

“I think if you’d made the right choice, you wouldn’t have taken to your bed for a week.”

He’s right. I know he’s right.

“Should I talk to Keegan?”

Another shrug, his gaze focused out the window. “I would wait until things cool down. Wait until you’re certain of what you want. You’re giving the poor guy whiplash.”

“I never meant to hurt him.”

“I know, but you did, regardless. Figure out what you want—from him, from life. Then, present your case.”

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