Page 108 of Like A Moth To A Flame

I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.

“No, it wasn’t, Amelia.”

I shoved open the door and jumped out, slamming the door shut behind me as I moved toward the door, reaching into my purse to find the keys. I fumbled with them, dropping them twice before she made it up onto the stairs beside me, a look of concern creasing her face.

“Yes, it is! Vanessa, that’s assault!”

“No! It wasn’t!”

I threw the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall behind it with a resounding bang that shook the house. With a sound like a gunshot, the stained glass above the door shivered and cracked, a deep line that ran through the roses and vines etched in the glass.

I was angry. I was so fucking angry, but why?Whywas I angry?

Turning, I whipped my purse off my shoulder and launched it across the room, where it slammed against the wall, the contents exploding outward and clattering to the floor.

I was so mad. I was sofuckingmad, and I couldn’t explain why.

Amelia stood frozen in the doorway, her hands reaching out toward me as if to comfort or restrain me, but she didn’t know which. Her blue eyes were wide and full of hurt, and when I finally saw them I stood panting in the foyer, feeling the anger draining out of me like water from a buckshot bucket.

“Ness?” she said, taking a single, tentative step toward me. Finally, her arms fell limp, her hands swinging at her sides. “What do you want me to do? I don’t know what you want me to say or how to feel. I don’t know why you’re mad.”

I sighed, my hands pulling down my face and coming to rest against my collarbone, fingers curling in the collar still clasped around my neck.

“I’m sorry, Amelia. I don’t know what I want either. I just… I feel…” I trailed off.

I was ashamed, humiliated, and so incredibly angry. The more I tried to understand what was happening inside me, the more confusing it became.

“I’m angry because I failed. I was so close! I was so fucking close, but I got caught up in-in… him, and what he was doing. I don’t know why he makes me so stupid, and so fucking desperate andpathetic,” I said finally, a noise of anger rumbling in my throat. “And I guess I’m angry… because I’m scared.”

“And you’re scared because you could get pregnant?” Amelia ventured, her voice soft and sympathetic. “And you don’t even know who he is?”

“Yeah, I mean I—” I swallowed hard, choking on tears that rose in my throat. “I knew he was going to do something like that. I-I mean, you heard the video. He’s talked about…”

I stopped, shaking my head. I couldn’t say that word.

Amelia stepped closer to me, wrapping her arms around me in a comforting hug.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I feel like I’m drowning, Amelia. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I feel like I’m being pulled in a million different directions, and I don’t know which way is up.”

“Come on,” Amelia said, gently pulling away and leading me up the stairs. I went with her, and only because I didn’t have the strength to fight her anymore.

“Where are we going?”

“You’re gonna take a nice, long, hot bubble bath. I’m gonna help you take your makeup off, and your hair down the rest of the way, and then I’ll help you wash it.”

“I don’t know, Amelia. I kinda just wanna go to bed.”

We made it to the top of the stairs, and Amelia grabbed me firmly, steering me toward the bathroom.

“Bath first.”

“Why?”

“Because sweetheart, I love you very much, but you smell like a cum rag.”

I wanted to be angry, but I didn’t have the energy. I laughed as she pushed me into the bathroom and started helping me unzip my dress.

God, how did she always do that?

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