Page 138 of Like A Moth To A Flame

Someone or something had immediately ripped away the freedom I felt. I was a moth with my wings pinned by a cruel child, a magnifying glass clutched in his other chubby hand, intending to burn off my fuzzy antennae and leave me there to squirm. Standing there, my toes curled against the rubber of my flip-flops as I pulled the note out of my pocket and read it one more time.

“Butterfly?” I mumbled, my mind working in clumsy circles.

No. No, that wasn’t right. This wasn’t Tommy.

I had never been Butterfly to anyone but my dad. He called me that sometimes, reminding me that it was what my name meant.

I was his butterfly, but my dad was gone.

A shiver raced down my spine as I crumpled the note in my fist and shoved it back into my pocket, my other hand reaching into my pocket and pulling out my phone. I flipped it open and went straight to my contacts, finding the little black heart that I’d never bothered to change. Tommy was at the station, but I knew he’d get my text, eventually.

Are you trying to be cute, or do I need to start freaking out?

I stood there staring at the screen, waiting for the checkmark to pop up that told me he’d read it. After a few minutes of staring, one thumb shoved into my mouth as my teeth pulled at a hangnail that had been bothering me, there was still nothing. Clicking my tongue, I shoved the phone back into my pocket and sighed.

I couldn’t just stand here forever. I needed to start cooking.

Shaking the thought from my head, I grabbed the bags and hauled them into the kitchen, slinging them onto the table as I started unpacking them. Beef brisket, Worcestershire sauce, gold potatoes, flour, beef broth, cooking sherry, yellow onions, garlic, various spices, and a bottle of Coke.

I swiped the recipe off the counter and squinted at it. When I was content that I had everything, I replaced the recipe on the counter where it would be safe and double-checked that everything was there. I dropped to my knees and started fishing for my mom’s roasting pan in the cabinet. It took a minute to find it, hidden in the shadows and spiderwebs, but when I finally pulled it out, I felt a twinge of nostalgia.

I missed her even more, now that I was here in this house and on the verge of having a family of my own.

What would she say if she was here now? Would she be happy for me?

Shouldshe be happy for me?

It was a little odd, wasn’t it? Why was I okay with it? Maybe something inside of me had finally snapped. A screw had come loose and released my crazy into the world.

I snorted, carefully getting to my feet and plopping the pan down on the stove with a satisfying clang.

Even if it was an unconventional meet-cute, I would make my mama proud. I would be the type of mom I wished she had had the chance to be. I would be there for my child’s first day of high school, I would be there for their wedding. I would be there for the day they went into labor with their own childand—

I stopped, just as I turned to the counter and laid my hand on the package of meat waiting to be plopped into the pan.

I was possibly soon to be pregnant with my first child, and I wouldn’t have my mom here to teach me anything.

I’d have to do it all by myself and learn everything on my own. I would have to—

The sudden vibration of my phone in my back pocket pulled me out of my thoughts and I jumped, pulling it out. I saw my little black heart staring up at me, and instantly I felt better. I swiped ‘accept’ and held the phone to my ear.

He was talking before I even had a chance to speak.

“What happened?”

The growl of his voice in my ear still sent shivers rocketing up my spine, and I swallowed hard. All my feelings of uncertainty, and wondering if I was doing the right thing floated away the second I heard his voice. He was my rock, my safety. He was the protector I hadn’t even known I’d needed, even if his way of showing it was different from most.

“I came home from the store and there was this note on the door. I thought it was you, but it says ‘Butterfly’, and I—”

“I’m on my way.”

“No! No, wait.” Biting my lip, I looked over at the meat on the counter and sighed. I’d worked so hard. I wanted it to be a good night.

“Why?”

“I was trying to make this surprise for you, and I—”

“And I appreciate it, but your safety is the most important thing in the world to me, and wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”

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