Page 164 of Like A Moth To A Flame

My brain was a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions, yet none of them were clear or concise.

“B-but… w-why…” I tried to form a coherent sentence, but I only managed a blubbering, babbling groan.

Barrett looked up at me, and somewhere within the confines of his eyes, I saw something that gave me hope—I saw what looked like caring, or worry. But even if his eyes held something close to concern, his fingers dropped the knife to the table and instead picked up the gun.

“Why?” he asked. “Why what?”

I suddenly lost my breath, and when I forced myself to speak again, my voice was unsure and hoarse, like the croak of a frog in a drying swamp.

“Why not j-just…” I swallowed hard, trying to rid myself of the taste of fear that had taken up residence on my tongue. “Just talk to me? Why d-do all of that?”

He blinked hard, and I watched as the frown on his lips shifted into a sinister smirk that had an icy chill racing up my spine. His eyes shifted again, and now they held a glimmer of something darker, something that made me question my sanity.

“Talk to you?” he scoffed, his voice dripping with disdain. “Oh, my dear, sweet,stupidVanessa. I tried to talk to you. Don’t you remember?”

My heart raced, and I struggled to make sense of his words.

“What? What are you talking about?”

As I searched for answers, Barrett leaned closer, his eyes fixated on me like a predator stalking its prey.

“My first day of school here in Cottonwood Falls. You were the first one to catch my eye, and I walked right up to you at the lunch table, but I don’t think you even heard me. You were too busy being the pretty, popular, perfect Police Daughter. You didn’t even give me a second glance.”

“I-I don’t—”

“I like your earrings, Vanessa.”

My heart slammed against my sternum as Barrett’s words echoed in my mind. How could I have forgotten? After all these years, I somehow hadn’t put two and two together. Why, because he had cut his long mane of auburn curls and lost the huge,coke-bottle glasses? Had that really been all it took for me to assume he was a completely different person?

A flood of memories rushed back to me, the vibrant cafeteria buzzing with conversations, laughter, and clinking silverware. I didn’t notice the new student because I was too focused on my friends, my hair, and seeking attention from the seniors. The realization hit me like a punch to the gut.

“W-we were friends, Barrett. After Sophomore year, and we—”

Regret washed over me, mingling with the fear that had already taken hold. How could I have been so blind?

“Sure, we werefriends,” he said with a shrug. “After puberty hit me like a truck, sure. After I tore you down from your pedestal, remember? After Ifuckedthebitchright out of you. You remember that, don’t you?”

Barrett’s words continued to hang in the air, his smirk widening. It was as if he had been waiting for this moment, relishing in the opportunity to expose my ignorance.

“But… you were there for me,” I blurted, my voice trembling. “W-when we met, and— You were there! You held me as I cried and you—

“Oh, Vanessa,” he sneered, savoring my vulnerability. “You didn’t think it was a little weird that I knew everything that had happened before you even told me? ”

My mind spun with disbelief. The bitterness in his voice stung, revealing a deep-seated resentment that hit me like the slap of a paddle.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Barrett continued, his voice dripping with bitterness. “I was invisible to you, just another face in the crowduntil you were broken. Until I’d ripped you down to my level, where you belonged, rubbed some dirt in your eyes, and then you finally saw me.”

As Barrett’s smirk transformed into a grimace, I saw a glimmer of pain in his eyes.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Vanessa,” he said, his voice low, barely a whisper. “But I had to. You know that, don’t you?”

But he had. He had hurt me in unimaginable ways, and ways that Tommy would have never—

All thoughts stopped as another surge of pain ripped through me, and now I couldn’t deny the reason for them.

It was contractions.

I was in labor, and judging by the bleeding, I would deliver a dead baby.

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