Page 170 of Like A Moth To A Flame

“Hey!” he said, turning in the chair he sat in to face me. “You’re awake!”

Now, I could see his face—and the bruises that circled his eye. Now I could see his cut lip and the bandage across the bridge of his nose.

Now I could see just how hard he had fought for me.

The nurse wheeled me closer to the small incubator where our baby lay, surrounded by monitors and wires.

And there she was, my precious baby, so small and fragile. I couldn’t help but burst into tears as I reached out to touch her tiny hand.

“Can I hold her?” I asked, looking from Rebecca to Tommy. They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” Rebecca beamed, and I felt her kick the brakes on my wheelchair and step away. “Let me go grab the nurse. She’s hooked up to a lot of wires and things, so you’ll need some assistance for the first little while.”

I watched as Rebecca hurriedly left the room, leaving me alone with my new little family. My heart swelled with a mixture of joy and apprehension. I longed to hold our little miracle, but the sight of all the wires and monitors surrounding her made me anxious.

Tommy, with his bruised face and bandages, gently leaned closer to me. He looked at me with love and concern in his eyes. Those eyes that had once held the secrets to all of my fear now held every piece of what made me feel whole again.

“She’s so beautiful,” he whispered. “And she’s a fighter, too. Just like her mom.”

Tears welled up in my eyes again as I ran my thumb across the back of our baby’s delicate hand. She was so small, so fragile, yet filled with a strength that amazed me. I couldn’t help but marvel at the softness of her skin, yet at the same time, a stab of anxiety flowed through me.

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for her to come home. I hadn’t folded the clothes and hadn’t finished the nursery. I didn’t finish decorating it, and I—

“Moth,” Tommy’s low growl caught my ears, and I turned to look at him. “You okay?”

I shrugged and then nodded. I didn’t know what to say or how to answer. I wasn’t okay, but I needed to be.

I had to be strong.

“You’re not,” he said, turning to me and placing my one free hand in both of his. “What’s goin’ on?”

I shook my head, trying to deny it, but even as I did, I burst into uncontrollable tears.

“I-it’s my f-fault,” was all I managed to choke out.

“What?” he asked, turning his body to face me. “What’s your fault?”

There was a calmness in his voice that I needed, even if it didn’t stop my tears.

“Sh-she’s in there because of me,” I whimpered. “I o-opened the door, and I—”

“And you had no way of knowing what would happen. You didn’t know he would come in and—”

He stopped when a soft knock on the door behind us grabbed our attention. We turned to see Sheriff Banner standing in the doorway, Rebecca standing behind him with a soft smile. He held his service cap between his hands, his fingers rolling the rim over and over again as he flashed a brief smile.

“Is this… a bad time?” he asked, and Tommy shook his head.

“No sir, not at all. Just a little new mom jitters, is all,” Tommy said, looking over at me with a smile that I accepted and returned.

With a simple nod, he stepped through the door, and Rebecca moved past him and made her way to the incubator. I watched with awe as she pulled down the side and reached inside to begin unhooking several wires.

“She’s about three pounds,” Rebecca told me with a maternal smile. “So you’ll have to be very gentle, but these preemies? They grow fast, and they are mighty, so watch out. You’re about to have a very feisty girl on your hands, Tommy.”

Behind me, he chuckled.

“No worries there,” he said. “I already have one in the house. Another one will be easy.”

Rebecca was kind and gentle as she explained the intricacies of the wires and monitors that were keeping our baby safe. With her help, I carefully held our precious bundle in my arms, making sure to support her fragile body. It was like holding a porcelain doll, and I was terrified I would break her.

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