Page 22 of Halftime

“Maybe we could be friends?”

It was lame, asking a girl to be my friend. Like we were in grade school. But with all the history we had, it felt like the right call. We’d started as friends, and that had been a big part of our whole relationship. Faith was smart and loyal and understood hockey, which had been the thing we’d talked about most.

Maybe what I needed was just some time not dating anyone. Maybe with Faith as a friend, along with my team, it would be enough for a while. And after I figured out what I was going to do with hockey, I could figure out what I was going to do about dating and relationships. But there was a voice in my head saying maybe if Faith and I were friends again, something might happen. I called that the asshole part of my brain.

But even if nothing happened between us, the idea of having Faith around to hang with, talk hockey with—it eased a bit of the tension I carried around. I had time to think, because it took her a while to respond.

“Okay, friends. We’ll see how that goes.”

I held out a hand. “Shake on it?”

Her hand met mine, gave me a firm grip. “Happy?”

I was. I hadn’t understood how much the Faith problem had bothered me until we cleared the air and agreed to be friends. It was like a big weight had been taken out of a backpack I was carrying around. I still had lots in there, but I felt lighter. And that felt good.

Then I remembered Holly. I had to go back into the house, get my girlfriend, and go break up with her. Yeah, that was going to be a shitty way to end the day.

* * *

Faith

I let Seb go back into the house. He did have a girlfriend there, after all. I needed a minute to think over what had just happened. I felt…a little freaked out, and a little like I’d just got new goalie equipment. Things weren’t fitting quite right.

For a year, I’d been living with the knowledge that my long-time boyfriend had cheated on me almost as soon as he left for school. It had affected me in ways I hadn’t considered until now, and I had to change my memories and a year’s worth of thoughts. Cooper was right, it had made me question myself and my worth. My judgement. Now, I had to readjust my thinking. It was a lot easier to accept the bad opinions rather than the good ones.

It was going to take some time to make that adjustment. I wasn’t going to get very far here in the backyard of women’s hockey house during a party.

I had two options—leave the party and go home and think about all this or go in and enjoy myself at my team’s party. I decided to go in and try to get this new equipment feeling like mine again. Break it in so that it fit. I was in college, I’d played a kick-ass game tonight, and I might have a few problems, but I’d just fixed one. I was ready to tackle more now.

Party it was.

7

Faith

I enjoyed the party. But my problems were still looming large when Monday rolled around. I spent the next couple of weeks before the start of the season working my butt off on the ice. I got some playing time in our exhibition games, but Coach Cray was still eyeing me with suspicion.

I attempted to get a head start on my classes. It wouldn’t be easy to study on buses while we travelled, so I tried to get a bunch done now. I struggled. It was all just more, more than high school had been. I’d been an okay student in high school, but not a genius.

It came to a head one otherwise beautiful day. I got a D on a psych paper, so it was already a shitty day. Then I got the email with the roster for the first game of the season. I was walking back to my room from practice when my phone buzzed. I stepped off the sidewalk and opened the email to find out I wasn’t starting. I’d expected that, but I wasn’t even suiting up as backup. I slid down the tree trunk at my back and dropped my head on my knees. I had to wonder if I’d made the worse decision of my life coming to Burlington.

“Faith?”

Well, at least seeing Seb wasn’t going to ruin my day. The email had already done that. I looked up at him. The weather had started to turn chilly, and the leaves were turning. The sun backlit him. He was alone, no girlfriend, in jeans and a T-shirt under his hockey jacket, looking like the guy I’d known before Moo U. The guy I’d have told all my problems to. Usually, he’d just listen to me. I’d told him early on that I’d ask for advice when I needed it. He’d listen, wrap his arms around me, and things didn’t feel so bad. But we weren’t those people anymore.

This year apart had changed me, and it must have changed him. Just like, when I really looked at him, he wasn’t the same. He was bigger. He must have grown another inch or two. And he was more built. He also stood taller, more confidently. Grown up inside and out.

He’d be difficult to dislodge from the puck. It would be fun to watch him in a game. Wait, I had. From my goalie crease. And that just reminded me that no one was going to watch me play. I wanted to bury my head again and pretend, for a while, that this wasn’t my life. But he was staring at me, and we’d agreed to be friendly, so I had to speak.

“Seb.”

“You okay?”

I shrugged. He wasn’t the guy I dumped my problems on anymore. Seb’s eyes narrowed. Then he dropped to the ground beside me.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Who says anything’s wrong?”

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