Page 38 of Halftime

It was time to face things.

I wedged open my eyes and saw Seb’s face in front of me. He was asleep, mouth relaxed, eyes closed, hair falling in his face. I’d rarely seen him asleep. And had never slept—likesleptslept—with him. I was in bed, naked, with Seb.

The rest of the night came back. Crying all over Seb. Then coming all over him. Heat flared in my cheeks. I slowly, carefully, began to untangle our limbs.

What have I done?

This was Seb, who’d cheated…except he hadn’t. My mind was still trying to accept that completely. I didn’t need to get involved with anyone, especially when I was still struggling with my classes and trying to stay on good terms with Coach. I had no idea how she’d react if I was dating one of the guys on the men’s team. This was not the time to test that.

I’d moved enough that we were no longer tangled together, so I slid backward out of the sheets and ending up squatting by the bed. Naked. Naked because we’d had sex, and I’d crashed on him. I must’ve been so out of it last night. That was the only excuse I could come up with. I hadn’t had any alcohol. I’d only overindulged in emotions.

There was a sports drink and a T-shirt on the table at the side of the bed. I blinked my eyes, realizing that Seb must have put them there. For me. That was incredibly thoughtful. Or maybe he was accustomed to this. After all, he’d dated this past year. Had been dating Holly.

Who knew how many girls he’d had here in his room? Girls he’d slept with. There could’ve been a lot. After all, he was a hockey player. He probably had the routine down pat. Or maybe they didn’t stay over because they didn’t fall asleep in his bed. He hadn’t had a chance to ask me to leave. I mean, I guess he could have tried to wake me up. Maybe he had.

Now I was mortified.

I found my clothes as quietly as possible, hoping the morning light that was lifting the darkness wouldn’t wake him as it helped me find my things. I pulled on my jeans, stuffing my underwear and bra in my bag. I didn’t much care what I looked like to anyone outside this room, I just couldn’t see Seb’s face when he woke up. In case…

When I was dressed, I finally stood up, taking a quick look to make sure nothing was left behind. Then I opened the door as carefully as I used to do when I was sneaking out of my room to hook up with Seb. I drew my first normal breath when I was on the other side of his door and the latch was carefully shut. Then I fled.

I ran lightly down the stairs and grabbed my jacket and boots. I stood out on the verandah to put them on, shivering in the cold, and then I booked it. I ran like zombies were behind me. I didn’t stop until I was in my own room, door locked behind me to keep those zombies out. Then I dropped to the floor. My grandmother, Seb, my own stupidity—it was a lot. I cried again, not sure what exactly I was crying about.

I was pretty sure what I’d been running from was in the room with me.

* * *

Sebastien

She was gone when I woke up.

Not really a surprise, but without even a note or text to explain, it wasn’t hard to read her play. For her, last night had been a mistake. I sat, phone in hand, trying to work out my next move. Cooper had told me to decide what I wanted. I had fallen asleep trying to figure out what that was.

I woke up, thinking that the answer to that was Faith. Unfortunately, this brainstorm hit me when it looked like she wasn’t feeling the same.

With Faith, I didn’t have to second-guess whether she liked me because I played hockey. She did, but because that was something we had in common, not because she liked the status or possible future. If she had a choice, she wouldn’t be with a hockey player. She liked me in spite of that.

She liked me, the me I’d shared with her. Shehadliked me. And she possibly was liking me as a friend again. But anything else, and she’d run.

It was the right call, obviously. Our schedules were whack, we could only hang out during the week, and I needed to decide about my future in hockey. I had classes and practices and games. It was a good time to be single. To worry only about myself. I argued really hard with myself, convincing myself I would mean it before long.

Meanwhile, I knew I should avoid Faith, because being around her would undo all the convincing I was working on so hard. Though I doubted I’d need to avoid her. Knowing Faith, she’d be avoiding me first. I still sent a text to her, just asking if she was okay. Because I wasn’t an asshole. And even if she’d run, her grandmother was dying, and that was a shitty thing to have happen. She might not want me as even a friend anymore after last night, but I couldn’t stop caring for her just like that.

Cooper was in the kitchen when I went down to get food before my first class. “You’re alone?”

I turned in a circle. Then I shrugged. “Looks like it.”

“Faith must have left early.” Cooper was in running shorts and a sweatshirt, wet with perspiration.

“You were out for a run?”

He nodded. “And her boots were gone when I got up.”

I was tempted, for a moment, to ask if he had a thing for boots, but it wasn’t worth the effort. I knew she’d left. This information shouldn’t affect me. Iknew.

“You okay, Hunter?”

I bit back the “sure” that had popped up first, because Coop was the guy who’d helped me last year when Faith disappeared. He’d seen me at a very low place. I didn’t need to try to pretend with him.

---