Page 52 of Halftime

There was no doubt that Seb was all in. I just… I guess I hadn’t thought he would be all in right away. I’d thought… I don’t know what I’d thought exactly. I’d been in a cocoon of love and lust and hormones and hadn’t thought about the details of what being together would be like outside my room. Part of me was on board, because this was Seb, and I loved him. I had missed him, all of him, the past year. But once I was on my own, back in the real world, there was a part of me that was still confused. There was just so much going on right now. Adjusting to college was more challenging than I’d imagined. My classes were getting better, but they weren’t easy. Did I have time for dating?

When it came to hockey, I felt like I’d built some bridges, but they were temporary ones. Easily damaged. I didn’t feel that confident bond with my team and coach like I had before. Maybe I was paranoid, but I felt like I was on probation. How would they react to this?

Then there was my grandmother. It was a whole lot of change, a lot of challenges, and while I was up for it—I truly was—it wasn’t easy.

And now Seb.

Just one thing to focus on would’ve been enough, but that wasn’t the play in front of me. I tried to shove all that confusion aside to get through classes, and then I came back to my room to get ready for our pizza date. But I was still on edge when Seb came to pick me up.

Penny had a smug look on her face when he showed up at our door. She’d accused me of having a glow when she saw me this morning. It hadn’t been hard for her to figure out what was going on with Seb and me. I suspected we hadn’t been all that quiet. I didn’t know when she got back to our room, but let’s just say I wasn’t going to ask her what she might have heard. It didn’t help that Seb blushed when Penny smirked at him. But even though she was giving me a bit of a hard time, I knew she was happy for me.

It was nice to go get pizza with Seb. This was familiar, something we’d done countless times. He slipped his hand around mine as we headed down the sidewalk, and it felt good. Right. When I was with him, those anxious thoughts went away, at least for a while. This wasSeb.And Seb and I together were so good.

We sat at a table, and once we’d ordered, he played with my hand while we waited for the pizza. Just like he’d always done. Rubbing his fingers over mine, he traced the lines on my palm, sending tendrils of awareness through me. Every now and then, my brain would switch back to last year, and I’d tense, remembering that I hated Seb and that he was a cheater—only to remind myself that was wrong. Then I’d relax my shoulders and try to make up for the lapse by paying more attention to him. My brain was a confusing place to be right now.

We were talking hockey—how our seasons were going—when suddenly his eyes widened.

“Shit, I forgot. How’s your grandma?”

I swallowed and put down my slice.

“I need to thank you. They’re coming to watch me play this weekend. Mom and Gramma. That was a great idea you had. Coach is letting me start the Friday game, so Gram will get to watch me play one more time.”

I had to blink my eyes. I purposely didn’t say one last time, but it was still there, disguise it how I might. I didn’t want to start crying. Gramma was being strong about this, so I needed to as well.

Seb reached over and squeezed my hand. “I’m glad you’ll get to see her, and she’ll get to watch you play.”

“Me, too.” My voice was rough.

“When do they arrive on campus?”

“About an hour before the game. I won’t see them ’til after.”

“And when are they leaving?”

“Saturday afternoon. Gramma can’t stay long.”

Seb’s face fell. “Damn. I would’ve liked to see them.”

It was terrible, but I felt a sense of relief. I didn’t want to talk about Seb with my family.

They knew we’d been going out when he left for Burlington. And that we’d broken up. I’d told them it was because of the long-distance thing. I hadn’t mentioned anything else. I hadn’t wanted to talk to my mom about Seb cheating. I especially hadn’t wanted to talk with my dad about it.

My dad cheated. For as long as I could remember, there’d been hushed fights, and my mom crying. I didn’t understand it, not when I was young, but as I got older, my mom would tell me stuff. My dad liked to tell stories about his clients. They were all athletes, all professionals, and not all of them cheated, but he had a lot of stories about the problems he had to help them with. It seemed like a lot of the problems involved women they hooked up with. Keeping it out of the press. Paying women off. Dealing with child support when someone got pregnant. And so many of these douchebags were married. Married or seriously involved with someone, and they still messed around. Like Dad did.

So cheating was a topic we didn’t talk about together. If my mom heard that Seb had cheated on me, she’d have freaked and fussed over me and blamed Dad and, yeah, it would have been a mess. One she would continue to harp on. One I wanted to avoid. But Seb didn’t cheat. So how could I explain the breakup and getting back together? Would they believe it was as simple as distance no longer being a factor?

In any case, getting into anything about me dating seemed like a disaster waiting to be unleashed. My dad was big on me focusing on hockey and classes, and my mom would fuss about me getting hurt, and I just didn’t need to deal with that. I wanted to focus on my grandmother.

I just made a non-committal sound and asked Seb about the team the men were playing against this weekend. If—no,whenwe’d been together for a while, I’d mention it to my family.

* * *

It was great to see Gramma.

I didn’t get to see them before the game, but after, I met them in the arena lobby. I’d rushed through showering and changing. I didn’t have long with them, and I didn’t want to waste any time. It was a shock to see Gramma in a wheelchair. I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and hugged her carefully. She felt more fragile than when I’d left Toronto a couple of months ago.

“None of that, Faith. I don’t need you to treat me like an invalid,” she said, even though she was talking from her wheelchair.

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