Page 10 of The Twelve Nights of Halloheen

The tears started falling and her voice got a little unsteady. “Ugarian ruts last a few hours, or, um, I guess the equivalent of three or four marks. Mostly I just had to lay there and take it. He wore a muzzle to keep from mauling me, but he still held me too tight. When it was over, he thanked me and paid even more than we agreed into the account for Zia’s implants.”

“No one ever knew?” Tisuran asked, surprised at the grating quality of his voice. Maybe it was from having to get the words past the powerful emotions he was experiencing but trying to keep suppressed.

“I had to keep it a secret,” Isla explained. “Yesith would have been punished for hiring me and breaking his shunning. And… and… I didn’t want anyone to know. I mean, I didn’t feel ashamed or anything. So I don’t know why, but I didn’t wantanyone to know. I felt different. Even after I healed up.” She bit her lip, probably to hold back her sobs.

“Healed up?” Tisuran croaked.

“I hurt so bad for a few days, and there was blood. More than Mom said there would be my first time. I was scared I was damaged,” she admitted. The tears flowed down her face more rapidly now. “I told everyone I was sick and stayed in my room. No one noticed because of the money. Everyone was celebrating that Zia could get her implants and guessing who made the big donation. Yesith paid anonymously so no one could trace it.”

“You could’ve had an internal injury,” Tisuran whispered, appalled at the danger Isla had subjected herself to. He’d been aware from the beginning that her love and loyalty knew no bounds, but this was a revelation. Everyone loved Isla, but they also saw her as impetuous and a little childlike. He didn’t think anyone would guess the steel core housed within her diminutive packaging.

A connection formed in his head. “Is that why you don’t like to be touched?”

She nodded her head and wiped at her tears. “I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but something changed inside me. My brain knows that my friends and family aren’t going to hurt me, but I get scared anyway. It doesn’t happen when I hug someone else. But if they try to hug me back, my body goes into panic mode.”

Tisuran was sure no one else had noticed Isla’s condition because she covered it so well by always being quick to hug, let go, move away, then distract. Before he’d thought her incapable of being still, but now he could clearly see the pattern.

His poor human!

Drawing her legs up on the chair, Isla wrapped her arms around her shins and rested her chin on her knees. Going slow, Tisuran moved until he was sitting on the ground in front of the chair, facing her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered. “I want to hold you and protect you from danger. I want to surround you with my body and promise my flesh will absorb all blows so none will ever touch you. But I don’t want to be the reason you panic. I thought if I sat here, you could touch me instead, if you wanted to. To comfort us both.”

“You Talins are all so protective of us,” she huffed out. “I’ll be fine. I have to be fine.”

He waited until she met his gaze, then spoke from the heart. “We might be protective, but I feel different about you than the other humans. This is about you and me, not anyone else. You’re special to me, Isla.”

Her eyes widened briefly, then slid back to gaze at the fire over his shoulder. As if she was fighting her own muscles, she jerkily unwrapped her arms from around her legs and put her feet on the ground on either side of Tisuran. Close, but not touching. “I think you’re special too.”

“You’ve touched me before,” he reminded her. “And others. Touch me again. Take comfort from me.”

Dropping her gaze to him, Isla reached out a tentative hand to touch the top of his head. “You didn’t pick me up earlier,” she remembered. “Palforma was holding Zia, but you didn’t do that. Why?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t realize until now that you didn’t like to be touched, but I knew instinctively not to pick you up,” he answered honestly.

She stroked her hand over the top of his head. “When I first saw you guys, I thought your skin would be rough. But it’s smooth. And you’re so warm. You guys throw off a lot of heat.”

Her touch made him hungry for more. That hunger gave him an idea.

“I want to demonstrate mystellian,” he said. “It will show you how trustworthy I am.”

“What’s a, uh,stellian?” she asked.

“It’s a way to show self-control and restraint,” he explained. “During my early years in military school, I wanted to distinguish myself, so I would perform a sustenancestellianoften. I wouldn’t eat for several rotations. When I allowed myself food, I would consume a single-serving meal slowly and steadily over the course of several marks. No one could match my control.”

Isla was silent for a few moments. “Willpower,” she finally exclaimed. “Stellianis willpower. I don’t think I could take a couple of hours to eat if I’d fasted for several days.”

“Our basic needs are hard to deny,” Tisuran agreed. “I did the same with water, allowing myself only small sips and never truly quenching my thirst.”

“It would be easier not to have any at all,” Isla observed. “Constantly denying myself a full drink would drive me crazy!”

“And that’s the point of the stellian. To develop perfect control over even the most basic instincts,” Tisuran concluded.

“Thisstellianmeans you won’t touch me?” she clarified.

He sounded a soft rumble of agreement. “Not without your permission, ever.” He paused, then added, “Except for danger.”

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