Page 41 of Little Fury

“I know.”

We board the flight, make our way to our first-class seats, and settle in. It's a 7-hour flight to the Caymans and I think I’m going to need that time to process what happened this morning.

Like all good cliches, my parents’ lawyers put all the assets they left me in a bank here in the Caymans. It was here or Switzerland, so I’m glad they chose here. I love the sun and sand. We make our way to the house we rented and settle in.

The house has a cook and housekeeper, so there is a stocked fridge and bar when we arrive. Marcus lets me have the master bedroom, and I love him for it. The master is stunning, with a gorgeous marble ensuite and a huge set of glass doors leading out to the deck. I drop my suitcase and can’t be bothered to unpack. Instead, I rummage through my stuff and grab a bathing suit. The ocean is calling to me, and I intend to go say hello to her right now.

I throw on the blue one-piece suit I have. It’s the first one I touch, so it wins the race to be first in the ocean. I peel off my clothes and step into the suit. It's pale blue and ties behind my neck; the top covers my breasts and ties behind my back with a criss-crossing pattern, created by the stringsholding the suit to my body. The bottoms are cheeky and ruched at the top of my ass.

I make my way back to the main space of the house. It’s one large open room. The kitchen, dining, and living rooms are all in the space.

The floors are a glossy white stone, the walls are a pale green. So pale that they look white. The stone on the floor runs up the fireplace mantle showing the true color of the walls beside it. Accents of a darker version of the wall color are thrown around the room with pillows and décor. The kitchen is white cabinets with a dark marble countertop and stainless-steel appliances.

The most amazing part of the house is the back wall of glass. The entire back of the house is floor to ceiling glass panes that fold onto each other opening that side of the house to the outside. And the outside is sight unto itself. Straight off the deck is the ocean. Waves and sand for miles, and they are beckoning me.

Marcus comes into the main room and laughs.“I wondered how long it would take you to go to the ocean.”

“And?”

“I thought maybe you would unpack first, but clearly, that is not the case.”

“Nope. Ocean first.” I laugh and head out of the house towards the water. The back of the house has a nice deck with a fire pit and BBQ; it's landscaped with flowers and stone. This place is stunning, and it all leads to the ocean, taking my breath away.

Once I reach the water, I put my feet in, letting the waves lap against them. The water is warm and clear, its movement is hypnotic, pulling memories from my mind. Things I work at never thinking about.

The last time I was in the ocean was with my father. So many years ago now. So many different lives ago. I wonderwhat they would think of the Ava I am now. Would they be ashamed of me? Scared of me? Would they still want me to come home for the holidays?

The Ava I would have been had they not died would been vastly different from who I am today. Sometimes I wonder who I would have become had my parents not died. What kind of life would I have hoped to have? I doubt my hopes for my future would have included having killed my first man at 16. The version of Ava, who had tea parties with a stuffed goat and squirrel, would never have enjoyed making grown men cry and bleed.

Are you sure about that? This, Ava, she enjoys it. She’s good at it.What makes you think the earlier version of Ava wouldn’t have also enjoyed it?

I break my stare with the ocean, pulling my thoughts back in. I take one last moment holding those memories–the thoughts of the Ava I might have been, the parents I once had–as I walk out further into the ocean and dive under its surface. I break the surface of the water, letting it cascade from my body as I stand up, and with the water falling from me, the remnants of a life that was never to be, are washed away. I let the salty water take those last bits of who I might have been out with the tide.

I let the ocean have that, Ava.

Letting her go completely.

I stay in the water, floating, thinking about nothing. Just reveling in the feel of it. Only getting out when I see Marcus coming. He has a towel for me, and I smile at him as I walk towards him.

“Enjoy yourself?”

“I did.”

“I'm hungry, and I have dinner ready,"he tells me.

“Yum.”

“You don't even know what I made.”

“I don't care; I’ll eat anything, you know this.”

When we return to the house, I go into my room and quickly rinse off the salt from my skin. I throw on a sundress from my closet see that Marcus put my clothes away for me. I brush out my hair and tie it into a braid, the plait falling to the middle of my back. Leaving my room, I find Marcus in the kitchen, dishing out dinner. He made us grilled salmon with veggies and some rice.

“Looks good.”

“Thanks. The fridge is well stocked, so it was easy to throw this together. And the grill outside is a thing of beauty.”

I look at him with a small smile.

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