Page 115 of PS: I Hate You

But I knew if I told him, he’d ask about Dom.

And if he asked, Jeremy would hear in my voice there was something more, and he would joke and cajole and dig and pry. He would be a loving sort of relentless until I laid out everything.

I didn’t trust Jeremy with that vulnerable piece of me, and now he knows.

A thickness gathers in my throat, feeling like guilty tears. But my cheeks stay dry. As I pretend to be fully engaged in the creation of nachos, Jeremy asks Dom surface questions about his trip and what it’s like to live in Philadelphia.

He stays away from the meaningful stuff, where with my actions I’ve made it clear I don’t want him to go.

After an awkward half hour, Jeremy makes an excuse about needing to meet up with Carlisle, which is BS because he only comes scrounging for food when his partner is out of town or working late.

Before slipping out the door, my friend sets his hands on my shoulders and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“You’ll do great on your hike. Alone or with him. I’m proud of you.”

He squeezes my shoulders and is gone before I can find my voice to saythank you. Or maybe to saysorry.

Jeremy deserves a better friend than me. Honestly, I’m surprised he still spends time with me. Maybe this will be what makes him leave me behind.

“Maddie?” A warm finger under my chin tilts my head upward until all I can see is a dark set of eyes. “How are you doing?”

I shrug. “Fine.”

When Dom continues to stare at me like he doesn’t believe me, anger stirs deep in my belly. I glare at him.

Dom smiles. “I have a gift for you.”

That reroutes my temper, morphing it into surprised curiosity. “A gift? What is it?”

His smile widens to a grin. “Greedy little Magpie.” Dom releases my chin and leaves me in the kitchen, reeling from his words.

Josh would call me that sometimes, especially when I showed him some random treasure I found or bought for myself. Magpie.

But I can’t help it. I like things. Cute, beautiful, cool things.

I wouldn’t consider myself a hoarder. My condo is plenty easy to navigate, and I make regular trips to Goodwill with the items that lost their immediate appeal and don’t feel like treasures anymore.

But I could never be described as a minimalist.

And the things that never go in the donation bin are gifts. Thoughtful items someone else chose for me. I have so few of them. They mean so much more.

Dom comes out of my bedroom, where he tossed his bag earlier, carrying a folded clothing item. He holds it up so I can see.

A letterman jacket.

“Oh my god, you brought it with you?” Without another thought,I’m in front of him, my hands fisted in the dark blue wool under his company’s name.

Dom watches my eagerness with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Gotta make sure everyone in the school knows you’re my girl.”

High school Maddie is squealing and passing out right now.

Chapter

Thirty-Four

Without the stair-stepper, I would’ve been done in the first twenty minutes. The Idaho hike is no joke.

Our destination is close to four miles into the Sawtooth Mountain Range. For the first part of the hike, I get overly confident, lulled by the cool morning and gradual incline into thinking myself a badass. But then the sun rises higher, and the elevation increases. As we navigate the trail through towering pines and up switchbacks, my lungs begin to lodge protests.

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