Page 132 of PS: I Hate You

Because in this moment, I’m not alone. Not only did the twins not abandon me, but they also both sought me out whenIleft them. They held on to me.

And in this moment, they feel a lot like brothers.

Chapter

Thirty-Nine

“I’ll get it!” Adam shouts when there’s a knock on my door. I cringe, expecting it’s my downstairs neighbor coming to scold us for being too loud. But it’s hard to keep things down with not only Adam and Carter in my apartment, but Jeremy and Tula, too. My friends showed up this morning with croissants and a determination to excavate me from my blanket pile of sadness, unaware that the Perry twins had beaten them by a day.

Of course, my friends didn’t just say “Looks like they’ve got it covered” and leave. No, they invited themselves into my condo and started peppering the guys with questions about a younger Maddie, all while cooking breakfast inmykitchen. After a good hour of this, I couldn’t ignore how much of myself I’d kept from Jeremy and Tula. How little I talked about my past.

This was different, though. Hearing about younger me from Adam and Carter’s perspective. They told stories about me like I was this cool chick they were lucky to know. I’m still processing the unfathomable perspective.

At one point, Jeremy disappeared and returned with his partner, Carlisle, and an armful of board games. That’s when things really started to get rowdy. It’s like they think the more boisterous they are, the less time I’ll have to slip back into despair.

Which, to be fair, seems to be working.

Well, that and my reignited competitive nature. I’d just finished yelling a series of Pictionary guesses at Carter, who is a fantastic singer but terrible artist, when the knock sounded.

If Ms.Boyd from downstairs is here to berate me for hollering “Inwhatfucking universe isthata fairy godmother?!” then I deserve it.

“Wait, Adam,” I call after him as I stand, not wanting anyone to get tongue-lashed in my stead. “I’ll get it.”

But the guy is too quick, already at my front door with a charming grin on his face. When he turns the knob and swings it open, I watch his welcoming expression morph into surprise, then, of all things, nervousness.

“Adam?” The deep voice is unmistakable and stops my feet so fast, my fuzzy socks have me sliding on the hardwood floor.

“Dom!” Adam lets out a strained laugh. “Hey, bro! What a coincidence, am I right? Had no idea you were coming.”

And there he is. The man I most want to see, while also the one I most want to hide from under an avalanche of blankets.

Seeing Dom now, a crush of recent memories makes me gasp in my next few breaths.

Him wrapping his arms around me on the shores of Alpine Lake.

His voice saying I was a part of his perfect future.

His hot kiss in the airport after swearing to see me soon.

His voice on the phone telling me he wouldn’t make it.

Him saying Rosaline’s name andourhouse.

His refusal to read Josh’s letter to me when I was alone and needed my brother.

I’m too mixed up in the good and the terrible associated with him to figure out how to respond to his sudden appearance.

Plus, he’s put together much better than I was twenty-four hours ago when the twins discovered me. Dom wears a perfectly fitted button-up with ironed slacks and polished loafers. His hair is styled, and his face is shaved.

This is accountant Dom. He stands on my threshold looking as devastating as ever. All broad shoulders and dark eyes and looming presence.

Luckily, Adam Perry exists in the world.

“Come on in. Join the party. You know the gang, right?” Adam claps a hand on Dom’s shoulder and draws his brother into my home. Then he shuts the door, trapping us all inside together.

And I try not to cringe at the added awkwardness of Dom actually not knowing everyone. After the unexpected encounter with Jeremy, I planned to find a time to officially introduce Dom to Tula and Carlisle. But this is the first time he’s been back in Seattle since the Idaho trip.

Dom’s sharp gaze scans the room, giving Jeremy, Tula, and Carlisle curt nods of acknowledgment. His eyes narrow when they land on Carter.

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