Page 60 of A Wish for Us

Cromwell pulled up in front of my dorm. I looked at the entrance with a sense of dread. When I was through that door, this would all end. Whatever this was. I still wasn’t sure myself.

Cromwell sat in his seat, his eyes on me. I could feel it. And I didn’t want to look his way. Because I knew that when I did, I had to end it.

“Cromwell,” I whispered, hands in my lap.

“Farraday.” I wished he hadn’t just said that. I liked the way he had always called me that. Only now when he said it, it was breathtaking to me. Just like his music.

“I can’t.” My voice sounded too loud in the old truck’s cabin. Cromwell didn’t ask what I couldn’t do. He knew what I meant. When I finally looked up at him, he was staring straight out of the window and his jaw was clenched. In that moment, he was the Cromwell I knew from the first days of school.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hating to see him this way. I didn’t want to hurt him. I had no idea what he thought of me, but by the way he’d acted this past week, what he did for me after the coffee house performance, and what he showed me tonight…I knew it had to be something real. And that kiss… “I…I can’t explain…”

“I like you,” he said, and as the sweetly accented words hit my ear, I wanted to move across the seat and wrap my arms around him. I didn’t know Cromwell well, but I knew he didn’t say those words easily. He lived behind high walls, yet with me, they had started to lower.

I didn’t want to be the cause of them growing back high. In my heart I wanted to be the one to smash them until he was free. But I couldn’t. It just wasn’t fair.

A sudden wave of anger hit me. At the unfairness. That I couldn’t just be here right now, enjoying the moment, falling into his arms.

“Bonnie?” I wanted to sob when my name left his lips. He’d never called me Bonnie before.

“I like you too.” I looked into his blue eyes. I owed him that much. “But it’s more complicated than that. I shouldn’t have let it get this far. It isn’t fair. I’m so sorry…”

The feel of his hand slipping into mine silenced me. “Come with me to Charleston tomorrow night.”

“What?”

“I’m playing at a club.” He held my hand tighter. “I want you to come.”

“Why?”

“To see…” He sighed. “To see me play my new mixes. To stand beside me and see how it is. To make you understand. It’s only an hour away.”

“Cromwell, I—”

“East is coming.” Disappointment dripped off him in waves. “It doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want it to be.”

I wasn’t sure I could be around East either. When Sunday came, I would have to tell him. And Cromwell would no doubt find out too.

I thought of one night. One last night where I got to be free. Surrounded by music and Cromwell. My brother and us, sharing laughs. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll come. But I have to come back here afterward.”

Cromwell’s lips pursed, the promise of a small smile. “Good,” he said. “Let’s get you into bed, Farraday.”

Cromwell got out of the truck and held my door open like before. And like before, he held out his hand for me. He held my hand until he brought me to the door of the dorm. My heart flip-flopped in my chest when he faced me. He put his hands on my face and pressed a single, soft kiss to my lips. “Night.”

He turned and walked off. I wasn’t sure I could move. Then, just before he got into his truck, I said, “Cromwell?” He looked up. I could feel my cheeks burning before I even spoke. “What color is my voice?”

Cromwell stared at me, eyes full of some kind of light I couldn’t decipher. That small, beautiful smile pulled on his lips again, and he said, “Violet blue.”

I tried to breathe. I really did. I tried to move.Violet blue.Cromwell got in his truck and pulled away. A memory from last week came to my mind.

“Cromwell?” I asked, and he turned my way. “What’s your favorite? Your favorite color to see?”

“Violet blue,” he said in an instant.

Violet blue. His favorite color to see…and also the sound of my voice.

If my failing heart hadn’t let him in before, it did just then.

Chapter Fifteen

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