Page 39 of Minus

“I know you were forbidden to see me, but if you’d really loved me you would have told me you were leaving. You would have called me once you were there. You would have asked me to come with you,” she said, tears once again forming.

“Baby, I don’t think you understand how being exiled works. If I had disobeyed Cutter, he would have taken my patch. I was given direct orders to stay away from you and leave my life here behind.”

“So, you just went along your merry way? How could it have been so easy for you to walk away from me?”

“Easy? You think any of this has been easy for me? You think you were the only one that was in love? It took me a year to be able to go to sleep at night without drinking myself unconscious. I would wake up in the morning and my arms would ache because you weren’t in them. Every time my phone buzzed, I’d pray that it was Cutter calling to tell me I could come home and that, miraculously, you’d still be waiting for me. Every day that went by that he didn’t call, it made me hate him more. And every day that went by that I couldn’t have you, made me love you more.”

“Then why didn’t you call, contact me, anything?”

“I had to put my feelings for you aside and do what I was told.”

“No, Jase you chose to put your club before me.”

Her words cut into the last good remaining part of my soul.

“You’re right,” I replied, taking her hand. This time she allowed me, and I forced eye contact with her. “I did everything you said. I was a coward and I regret that. Cricket, I’m so sorry. Please know that I never meant to hurt you and that I had no idea what you were going through. I was sowrapped up in my own heartbreak and anger, that I figured you’d just moved on when I left.”

“Well, I didn’t,” she said.

“I don’t understand how that’s possible. You’re the most amazing woman in the world. There had to be a line of guys around the block waiting to date you. I figured by now, some normal, stable, responsible type would have swept you off your feet. Or, did your brother chase all the other guys away, too?”

“I’m not ready to fill you in on all of that right now,” she said, and I instantly knew it had to be bad. “We’ll just leave it at, you left a mark.”

I grimaced.

Cricket looked at me puzzled. “You keep saying my brother had a big hand in your exile. I’m not sure you’re right about that. The Dogs of Fire and The Burning Saints have nothing to do with one another.”

“That’s not exactly true. The clubs aren’t exactly friendly, but given their shared roots, they’ve always respectfully steered clear of one another. According to Hatch, me dating you was a sign of our club drifting into their lane.”

“I’m going to kill my brother,” she said.

Although, I was happy her anger was no longer focused on me (at least for the moment), I couldn’t believe it, but suddenly I found myself defending Hatch. “Don’t be mad at your brother. He didn’t want you dating a criminal and I can understand that. He was just trying to protect you.”

“I’m so sick of everyone always saying that! I don’t need protection. I’m not a child and I’m not a helpless weakling.”

“I never said you were weak or thought you were helpless. You’re one of the strongest women I know. Hell, I’ve got a permanent scar here under my eye to prove it.”

Cricket cringed and looked away in embarrassment.

“Don’t you dare,” I said. “Take a good look at your handiwork, Cricket. It means you don’t take shit from people, no matter who they are, and I’m glad you stuck up for yourself. I’m also glad you hit me, because this scar will remind me never to treat you that way again.”

“I highly doubt we’ll see each other after tonight, so it doesn’t really matter much does it?”

I straightened my posture. “Well, besides the apology, that’s the other thing I wanted to discuss tonight.”

“Jase,” she said in a low tone.

“Please call me Minus. You have no idea what it does to me when I hear you say my name.”

“Don’t you dare. You promised no dirty talk,” she warned.

“I’m not talking dirty, Cricket. I’m being honest. The part of me that’s still Jase has deep feelings for you, but I have to be Minus right now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You heard Cutter the other night. He wants me to be club president when he retires.”

“You’re not seriously thinking about doing that, are you?”

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