Page 63 of Minus

“Really? That’s not what I’d pictured for a couple of ranchers,” I said.

“Why’s that?” Minus asked.

“I don’t know, I guess I’ve just never spent any time around people that live out in rural areas. I’m a city girl. All I have to base my expectations on is what I’ve seen in movies and on TV. Even Kim and Knight who own property in Portland… it’s still close to the city, so it just doesn’t register with me, I guess.”

He grinned. “I suppose those stereotypes exist for a reason, but most of the ranchers I’ve met are educated, run high-tech operations, and have serious money. These aren’t guys that ride tractors, or sit on rickety porches, holding shotguns with straw hangin’ outta their mouths.”

“What are Duke and Pearl like?”

Minus grinned. “Well, Duke is kinda the guy with thetractor and the shotgun, but he’s also brilliant. They’re the best. The most loving people I know, and they are going to adore you.”

We continued down the road, passing underneath a large HH Ranch sign.

“What does the HH stand for?” I asked.

“I’ve never been able to get Duke to tell me.

“Oooh, a mystery.”

“Probably not. I think Duke just likes fuckin’ with me. Pearl says is stands for, ‘Healing Hugs.’” Minus chuckled. “But I somehow doubt it.”

“She sounds sweet,” I said, as Minus parked.

“You should be prepared before we get out. They’re probably gonna make a big deal out of you being here.”

“I’ll prepare myself,” I said smiling, as we exited the car.

No sooner had I closed my door when I heard a loud crack echo through the forest walls.

“Get down!” Minus yelled, as he dropped.

After what felt like an eternity to process what he was saying, a second shot rang out, whizzing directly over our heads.

“Cricket! Get the fuck down!”

I dropped to the ground, tearing my jeans and skinning my left knee on a rock as I did. I flattened my body and wriggled under the car as best I could.

“Whoever you are, you’d better get the fuck off my property, because the next one will be more than a warnin’ shot!” a voice called out.

This is some warm welcome.

“It’s Minus, you crazy old bastard! Hold your fire!”

The shooting stopped, and after a few moments of silence, a voice called out.

“Minus? Is that really you?”

“That’s what I just said, Duke!” Minus replied. “Now, will you please put the rifle away before you shoot someone. And by someone, I mean me or my guest,Cricket Wallace?”

“Cricket’s with you? Where? I can’t see anybody,” Duke called back.

“That’s because we’re on the ground, Duke. You know,on account of all the shooting. I’m gonna stand up now and I’d kindly appreciate it if you didn’t put any unnecessary holes in me.” Minus said, before rising and coming over to my side of the car.

“Lemme help you up. Are you okay?” he asked, while looking me over.

“I just hurt my knee a little. I’ll live.”

I heard footsteps crunching rapidly down the gravel driveway and looked up to see a man in a white beard and overalls, trotting towards us, carrying a hunting rifle.

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