Page 83 of Minus

“Haven’t you heard the old joke about a nun walking into a bar? It was the only story I could think of at the time, don’t judge me. Besides, my friend, Sadie, actuallywasa nun and she met her man in a bar.”

“I’m gonna need to hear that story one day.”

She grinned. “I’ll tell you later.”

I smiled, then pointed up to my head.

“Dr. Gardner says you’re going to be fine. You suffered a nasty concussion, but he was able to get the swelling under control without surgery and the rest of your bumps and bruises are healing without complication. If all continues to go well, he says you should be out of here in four or five days.”

Clutch nodded. “The Doc says you probably won’t be any stupider than you were before, so that’s good news, but you ain’t doing any modeling any time soon.”

“Unless they’re looking less for beefcake, and more for ground beef,” Cutter laughed.

I shifted. “Duke… Pearl?”

“Shhhhh. They’re fine,” Cricket said. “The paramedics and police arrived right as I was leaving, and they were treated for only minor injuries. The drugs had no lasting effects, and apart from being very sore from being dragged around by an unidentified blonde woman are doing fine.”

“What about the guy that—” I rasped, squeezing her hand tightly.

She smiled. “The police got him. He’s in custody.”

“Local authorities have arrested a man by the name of Francisco Duarte, of Boyle Heights Los Angeles, for kidnapping and burglary,” Clutch said, reading from the local paper. “It seems they found Mr. Duarte, a.k.aLa Cuchilla, or “The Blade” in a cabin, not far from the Double H Ranch. He’d had some sort of altercation with an,as of yet, unidentified party and a mishap with a tranquilizer gun. They found a host of illegal medications in his car and were able to trace his trail back to the Double H Ranch. Police are also looking for others that may have been involved, but so far have no leads. Not surprisingly, La Cuchilla, a career criminal, isn’ttalking.”

“He’s a dead man anyway, once Los Psychos gets ahold of him. He probably won’t make it out of prison,” Cutter said. “They don’t take failure too lightly, and he failed big time.”

Clutch laughed hysterically. “He got shot in the chest with a tranquilizer gun… by a chick!” Tears of laughter were streaming down his face.

“This chick might have a few of those darts left for you, if you keep flappin’ your gums,” Cricket snapped at Clutch, once again causing the room to erupt in laughter and cheers.

A squatty nurse suddenly appeared in the doorway with a scowl on her face. “You have too many visitors, and you’re making too much noise. You’re disturbing the other patients.”

“And you, ma’am, are disturbing to look at, but I wasn’t givin’ you any shit about it,” Cutter said to more howls.

“Alright, everybody out or I’m going to call security!” she hollered, and the motley crew filed out.

Cricket stayed put, right by my side. The nurse also held her position by the door, where she stood and eyeballed Cricket.

“Look here, nurse Ratchet,” Cricket said. “My man almost died, and I haven’t been able to speak to him in four days. So, if you think I’m going anywhere, you’re gonna need to call for a psych-eval on floor number six… for yourself!”

Lucky for her, she backed right off, and Cricket wasn’t asked to leave again.

* * *

Three days later, I was climbing the fucking walls. I’d had my fill of hospital food, daytime TV, and the never-ending cycle of good nurse/bad nurse. I swear to awkward teenaged-years Jesus, there’s never been a profession that attracts both living saints and utter masochists.

“Good morning, baby,” a voice sweeter than any of my nurses surrounded me as Cricket entered the room, her armsfilled with a giant wicker basket.

“I love it when you call me that,” I said, as she leaned down to kiss me.

“Really? I’d have thought tough guy Minus would have a problem with such a sweet pet name.”

“Pet name?” I asked smiling. “You been hanging aroundDogstoo much,” I teased, and she kissed me again.

“I’m just surprised you like it when I call you baby, that’s all.”

“The first time you did, I knew I was still completely in love with you,” I said.

“When was that exactly?” she asked.

---