Page 44 of The Reaper's Vice

“How could you promise something like that?” She interrupts, her voice a cracked whisper. “How could you, when you’ve known me as long as you have?” She lowers her eyes to the floor. “I’m broken, Nina. Scared of my own shadow, scared of living. I can’t even leave this fucking apartment to get coffee, too scared I’ll have a panic attack, and I?—”

Her voice is cut off as I pull her tight against me. Silent sobs rack her tiny frame, but I just hold her tighter, giving her something—someone—to ground herself to. Just like she’s done for me.

“We’ll figure this out together, Maggo.” I run my hand down her hair in soothing strokes. “If you fear, I’ll be your courage. If you break, I’ll cut my fingers on the pieces to put you back together. And if you’re lost, I’ll follow you into the dark—I will sit by your side and hold your hand until we make it out.Together.Always together.” I rest my forehead against hers. Maggie’s tears slip down her face, only for me to reach out and brush them away. She reminds me so much of her younger self when she cries—her blue eyes big and wide and innocent, but also confused—so confused as to why the world could be so cruel.

It’s Maggie’s one true fault. For all her experiences, all the horrors she’s been through, she will always be too pure to fully understandwhy.

When her sobs subside, I pull back to look at her, noting the dark circles beneath her eyes. “Did you sleep last night?”

She shakes her head softly, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I tried. But I kept having nightmares—that you were gone, and someone was hurting you, and I couldn’t do anything tohelpyou.”

“Oh, Magoo…” I grip her shoulders, staring deep into her watery eyes. “That willneverhappen.”

“I-I know.” She sniffles. “It’s just my stupid brain.”

“Your brain is anything but that. Unhinged? Yes. Stupid?No.” I place a kiss on her forehead that makes her giggle. “Come on—let’s get your crazy ass in bed.”

She resists for half a second, then lets me tug her toward her bedroom. I open the door, gesturing her inside with a low bow to the sound of another giggle. She sits squarely on her bed, and I put my hands on my hip with a stern expression.

She rolls her eyes but still lies back on the mattress. I grab a blanket and throw it over her, tucking her into bed like I used to when she was a child.

“You’re too much, you know that?” She laughs, the intoxicating sound growing as I pat her lightly on the head. “I’m not adog,Nina.”

“No, you’re right—much more like a bird. A shrike, to be exact.” A smile teases my lips as she snuggles deeper under the blanket until only her eyes are peeking out. “Good night, Magoo.”

“Good night, Nina,” she whispers, her eyes already beginning to droop. I pat her fondly on the knee and stand from the bed, careful not to make any noise as I shut the lights off and close her bedroom door.

A yawn tears from my mouth as I stumble toward my own bedroom, though I know sleep is far, far away still. I take a quick shower and hop into bed with a romance book, my trusty dagger nestled snugly on the pillow next to mine.

A few hours pass, my eyes are dry and swollen, and my wrist is cramping from holding the book up, but I still don’t feel like I cansleep.Sighing, I place the book onto my bedside table, switching it for a bottle of sleeping pills I’d bought on the street last year. My insomnia was the worst it’s ever been—so bad, I had started to hallucinate things. Vee’s tincture wasn’t doing shit, and so in desperation, I drove down to the Blue Line district and snagged a bottle of the powerful sedatives off the first dealer I could find.

I’ve taken them sparingly—though they allow me to sleep, I’m not fond of the grogginess I’m left with when I wake. I prefer my mind to be sharp—alert and ready for any threats that could appear.

But I’m so tired…

Sighing, I pour two little white pills into my palm, swallowing them without a drop of water. Unease swirls in my gut as I turn off the light and lie back in bed, closing my eyes against the imposing shadows.

Maybe if I count sheep?

I begin the silly ritual, counting each fluffy white creature as it jumps over a gate made of pure gold. One thousand, two hundred and thirty-seven—that’s how many damn sheep I count before the effects of the sedative take hold.

But once it does, I’m gone.

Cricccckk… crickkkk… cricccckk…

My eyes snap open, followed by a lurch of nausea as the ceiling squirms above my head. My vision is fuzzy, my head heavy and throbbing with the rapid pulse of my heartbeat.

Crrrrick… crrrick…

I sit straight up, clutching the blanket to my chest as the noise rings out once more. I thought I had dreamed it, but…

I hold my breath, listening for the strange scraping noise. Instead, a new tapping sound fills the quiet of my bedroom, freezing the blood in my veins. Snagging the dagger from my pillow, I lurch off the bed, my legs wobbling terribly in an effort to keep me standing.

My fingers tighten around the handle of my dagger as I stoop down, half expecting a monstrous hand to reach out from the shadows beneath my bed. I press my ear to the floor, eyes wide as I search the dark—but there is nothing. I straighten with a frown, holding on to the wall as a fresh wave of dizziness causes my vision to swim.

“Fucking sleeping pills.” I hold the dagger with one hand and the wall with the other as I stumble out of my room.

Quietly as I can, I open the door to Maggie’s room, breathing a heavy sigh of relief when I see she’s still passed out. I creep inside, checking under her bed before doing a thorough sweep of her bathroom and closet.Still nothing.

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