Page 69 of The Reaper's Vice

“I’m not—I’m not going to laugh.”

“Uh-huh. Then why does your face look like that?”

“Look likewhat? Are you trying to say there’s something wrong with my face?” This time, she does let out a small laugh, only to clap her hand over her mouth to stifle it.

I frown. “It’s not that funny.”

She nods, composing her expression. “You’re right—a serial killer wanting to nurture small animals is totally normal. Not funny at all.”

“It’s not!”

“Mm-hmm,” she hums, her eyes alight with mischief.

I eye her expression—so uncharacteristically open and free—and I decide to tell her somethingreal. “My mom wanted to be a vet. I remember her studying for the entrance exam, poring over pages of anatomy textbooks by candlelight.” I give her a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “This was before the drugs, of course. Just before, actually—but I can still see her there as clear as day, her eyes clear and lucid, a little line between her brows.” I kick at the dirt, memories I’ve buried years ago sprouting free, playing like a slideshow in my mind. Her smile. Her embrace. The way she cared for me and little Annabelle.

Poor, innocent Annabelle.

Hatred hardens in the pit of my chest as I think about my little sister. At the way she cried and cried, begging to be fed. And the horrible sound of silence after, when she no longer did. For that, I will never forgive my mother.

As if there’s something lefttoforgive.

I shake my head, banishing those thoughts as I force a chuckle. “Okay, enough of my sob story. What didyouwant to be?”

Seraphina gazes at me for a long beat, a myriad of emotions crossing her face. Sympathy. Anger. Sadness.

It’s that last one that carves a fresh chasm in my soul.

Needing to take it away, I decide to remind her of our game, hoping to bring her some relief. “Come on, little dove. Don’t hold out on me.”

Seraphina blinks, clarity rushing back to her vision before a sad little smile crosses her lips. She looks out over the lake, glassy as the tears in her eyes. And for a while, she doesn’t speak. But when she does, her words hit me like a ton of bricks, making me forget everything—anything else.

“I wanted to be a mother.”

I stare at the beautiful girl, my heart breaking alongside hers. “You say that like… like you’ll never get to be one.”

Her lips tremble, but she can’t bring herself to look at me as she clutches her stomach. At the long, angry scar that I know runs across her belly. “I’m afraid they took that dream from me, too.”

My chest clenches as I look at her, at the devastated look in her eyes. “They didn’t…”

“They did,” she whispers, a single tear breaking free and carving a line down her face. “Madams are not allowed to have children… even the possibility—” Her voice breaks off as she chokes a silent sob. “They had to make sure there was no way for me toeverget pregnant. And there’s only one sure way…”

I can’t help it anymore—I wrap my arms around Seraphina, pulling her deep into my chest. I hug her as silent sobs wrack her shoulders, I support her weight when her legs won't carry her, and I clutch at every shattered piece of her, holding her together as she breaks down in my arms.

When her cries subside, I pull her into my arms, placing gentle kisses along her brow as I carry her back to the cabin. And I know this isn’t something I can fix or even make better—not by a long shot. Not in a million years

But fuck, am I going to try.

33

SERAPHINA

“FLYING LESSONS”

I wakethe following morning with my eyes swollen shut and my throat aching from the amount of crying I did yesterday. I truly can’t remember the last time I broke down like that—if ever—and I’m a little worried about how comfortable I was letting Orion take care of me in that state.

Especially since he won’t take this fucking shock collar off.

I reach up to my neck, scrunching my nose at the feel of the thick leather strap cutting into my skin. I gaze to my right, noting Orion’s closed eyes and the soft snores pouring from his lips.If I’m going to do this, I have to do it now.

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