Page 21 of Lonely Orcish Girl

Reed sighed as he realized that she had seen through him. They had become very close and had spent so much time together that there was no way she could miss it. He still didn't know how to put it into words, but he decided to be completelyhonest because he would feel terrible if he lied to her. It would somehow taint their bond.

"I have to return to my village for a while," he explained to her the situation with his farm.

Katuri listened without interrupting, and Reed grew sadder with every word he said. Her face seemed impassive, but he sensed that she was trying to hide that she was hurt.

"I know, Reed. I expected to hear that." She shrugged her shoulders.

"I just have a few things to take care of, but I'll be back—" he was about to add something, but she interrupted him.

"Yeah. We’ll see. I understand, Reed. You're right, the farm is your inheritance, and that can't be wasted. I think you should go," she said seemingly calmly, then cleared her throat and continued in a shaky voice. "There's a little path there—" she pointed behind her house. "If you follow it, you'll come to the road to Larrant. If you… if you leave now, you should reach your village before nightfall."

"You want me to… leave now?" Reed was shocked, feeling as if a strange hole were forming in his chest. The whole conversation was going in an utterly wrong direction.

"I don't want you to leave," she blurted out impulsively, but then, as if realizing she was exposing herself, she continued in a flat tone, "But I understand your reasons and that you have to go. I'm grateful for what we had, Reed, even if it was brief. It was… extraordinary. But I don't want to make it harder for us than it already is. I don't want to feel the way I did in the past. So it's going to be better this way."

Reed furrowed his brow as he took in what she meant. To his horror, he realized that she apparently thought he wanted to leave forever. And he had no such intentions! She had to know that!

"I'll be back, Katuri," he repeated firmly, and tried to hold her hand, but she abruptly leaped to her feet and moved a bit away. He blinked rapidly, feeling lost and desperate.

"Please, Reed, please…" She closed her eyes and tried to hold back her tears. "We both know you won't. You have your life, and I have… this. You are human, and I am an orc. There's no way."

"That's not true!" he tried to convince her, but she wouldn't listen.

The orcess seized her bow and said bitterly, without looking at him, "I have to go hunting. Thank you… And good luck, Reed. With your farm, your village… Jolene and everything else."

"I'm not going back to her!" he shouted, reaching for her hand again, but Katuri dodged it. She stepped away from him.

"I must go. Goodbye, Reed," she said in a shaky voice. Then she began walking toward the forest, in the opposite direction from where she had pointed him. She held her head high, but given the unnatural stiffness of her movements, it was obvious she was just pretending.

"Katuri, I will be back, you’ll see!!" he called after her, but she didn't stop.

“Just go, Reed!” she yelled back in a raspy voice, “It will be better this way!”

Reed knew she was hurt and probably crying, and there was nothing he could do about it except watch her walk away. It became obvious that she saw their separation as final. The awareness of this tore at his heart. He felt absolutely helpless.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. It was a disastrous misunderstanding. It felt like another heartbreak—for him and for her.

The moment he decided to follow after her and explain, and make sure that she knew she didn't have to be sad, Katuri reached the forest and… he saw her start to run! After a splitsecond, she disappeared among the trees. It was too late for a chase.

He stood next to her house for a few minutes, stunned, as if he had been hit on the head, his stomach cramping, and his heart aching.

"Why didn't she believe me?!" he muttered to himself, blinking as tears welled up in his eyes. He grabbed and pulled at his hair, the feeling of despair overwhelming him.

After a while, he turned around, walked into the house, and took his pouch. Then he sighed, closed the door, and, hanging his head, walked in the direction of the path that Katuri had shown him.

He couldn't believe how terribly their talk had gone. The worst possible scenario. Why did it have to end like this, with them both heartbroken again?

Katuri had expected him to leave her at some point because she didn't believe they had any chance for a longer relationship. Maybe it was more rational, given her experiences with Ehrendil. Maybe it was a defense strategy of hers? Or perhaps she truly believed that he would return to Jolene. From Katuri's perspective, it could look like that.

He reproached himself for not phrasing his thoughts more clearly, explaining them better, or being more decisive. Or that he should have confessed his feelings to her. Even if that felt premature.

He should have done that.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda!He was furious at himself that these ideas came to him only afterward.

I will make it right. I have to make it right.With a sudden surge of determination, Reed made a firm decision.I'm not going to be another Ehrendil for her. She deserves better than that! I'll come back to her no matter what!

After walking a few yards along the path, he figured out that he might not have found the way to Katuri's house again. He stopped and looked behind him. Her house was still visible in the distance. Without thinking much, he picked up a rock and walked toward one of the trees. He hit the bark a few times and left a mark on it. Then he returned to the path and continued patiently marking the trees along the way until he reached the route to Larrant.

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