Page 54 of Very Special Forces

"Blahblah blah," I mouthed at her back. So much for chilled-out vacationSerena! She was just as uptight as usual.

"It'svery rude to be late," continued Serena as I slid past her. Shepersisted in talking at me while I moved out of earshot and walkedover to Solomon. He stood with Jord, who held baby Poppy in hisarms. She had both hands pressed against Solomon's cheeks while healternated between discussing the state of burglary in Montgomerywith Jord, who was a detective in the burglary division, andblowing kisses at her.

"He'sready for babies," came a whisper in my ear.

Ijumped. "Thanks for the advice, Mom."

"I canjust tell. No man willingly interacts with a baby unless he'strying to stimulate his partner's ovaries."

"Myovaries are not stimulated." They were a little bit at the sightbut there was no point in telling my mother that. She would be atmy door with an ovulation test kit every day if she even suspectedit. "What do you know about stimulating ovaries anyway?" I askedbefore immediately regretting it.

"I readan article in a magazine at the dentist."

"Aboutovaries?"

"Aboutmen's subtle clues that they're ready for fatherhood." Mom pausedas Solomon handed Poppy to Jord. She reached for Solomon andwrapped her fingers around one of his and grinned gummily. "See howhe's acknowledging the father? He's saying 'I could be a fathertoo'."

"No, heisn't."

"He washolding her for ten minutes."

"And Iwasn't even in the room," I pointed out.

"Hecouldn't possibly know when you would arrive. He was just beingready."

"I don'tthink he's noticed I've arrived yet." Solomon looked over andwinked. Mom nudged me. "He just likes Poppy. He's going to be heruncle very soon," I added.

"I'mgoing to give him some pamphlets about healthy sperm."

I paled."Please don't."

"Whynot? What if his little swimmers aren't healthy? Have you checked?You could use that microscope kit your father and I bought you whenyou were nine."

Theblood drained from me. I contemplated pretending to faint but Iwasn't sure if my mother would take that as a definitive sign ofpregnancy. "No, Mom. I'm waiting until marriage."

Mymother did a double take so fast, she might have gotten whiplash."You should always try the candy before you buy thecandy."

"There'scandy?" asked my nephew, Sam, appearing at my side. He belonged toGarrett and Traci and was either destined for great things orbecoming brilliant, but evil. Possibly both.

"There'sno candy," said Mom.

"Youjust said there was candy!"

"Whenyou're a grownup and have a good job," replied Mom, turning him bythe shoulders and nudging him towards his cousins.

"Soconfusing," muttered Sam as he scooted away. I heard him tell hissiblings and cousins, "There's candy somewhere here but Grandmasays we can't have it until we're grownups and have jobs." Thechildren sighed collectively. "We can ask my dad," said Sam. "I bethe's got candy."

"Notlately," muttered Garrett as he walked past.

"How'sthe dead body?" I asked.

Mybrother shrugged. "Still dead."

"That'sgood."

"Isit?"

"Well,if it's been declared dead and it's not, someone is going to have aterrible day in the morgue," I said.