Page 34 of In the Line of Ire

"That'snot news," said Solomon.

"Whatelse did she say?"

"That weshould hire a maid, and I should fire you, and she's extremelydisappointed in me."

"Huh."

"Sheasked if we wanted lasagna or some other kind of casserole for thefreezer. She also said therapy was a good idea and if it doesn'twork out, I shouldn't be ashamed. She warned me not to take uponline dating because it would be a waste of time since there wasno woman in the world better than you. Then she started crying andhung up."

"Goodgrief."

"I'll bethere in a few minutes but go inside if you don't want towait."

"I'llwait," I said. "And I'm very sorry about my mom’s call."

"I'mmore worried that she'll tell your dad, who might consider shootingme on sight. Sorry," Solomon added at my sharp intake ofbreath.

"I'm nottraumatized," I squeaked although the vision of Solomon hurt andbleeding flashed before my eyes.

"But nomore shooting jokes. How do you feel about stabbingjokes?"

"Not sosharp," I quipped.

Solomon laughed and hung up. I tried calling my mother againbefore she told my father any ridiculous stories but the phone wasstill engaged. So I sent her a text:we'reonly in therapy to get past the shooting incident.

When myphone rang again, I snatched it up without checking the screen."Mom?"

"Nope.Me," said Maddox. "Your mom sounds nuts."

"I know.Wait, how do you know?"

"Shejust called to tell me how disappointed she was in me before shewent on to blame me for screwing up our relationship and causingyou to fly into an unhappy marriage. She said you would behard-pressed to ever get married again and I should be ashamed ofmyself. I'm a little confused."

"Shesaid I would be hard-pressed to get married again?" I repeated."That's so rude! I'm a real catch."

"Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure we split a while back,which makes none of this, whateverthisis, any of my fault. And yourmom really missed the boat on blaming me for ourbreakup."

"Youboth definitely missed something," I told him. "You and mymother."

"Are youreally unhappy?" he asked in a gentler tone. "Is everythingokay?"

"Everything's fine!"

"Ladyfine or really fine? If it's lady fine, I'm leavingtown."

"Genuinely fine," I laughed. "My mother just decided torattle off a narrative of her own making."

"So youand Solomon aren't in therapy?"

"No, weare, but it’s not marital therapy. We're discussing theunsuccessful attempt that was made on his life with aprofessional."

"Ahitman?" joked Maddox.

Icouldn't help it. I laughed. It was so not funny, it became funny."No, a trauma therapist," I told him. "It's no secret."

"Thenwhy did your mom suggest you're getting divorced?"

"I haveno idea but I'll put that fire out later. Solomon justarrived."

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