Page 25 of Complicated Past

“He didn’trapeme.” Her stomach muscles constricted as she said the R-word.

“Really?” His eyes narrowed, though his tone softened by a fraction. “Because you’re displaying the same behaviors Bri did.”

“It wasn’t rape,” she repeated, weaker this time.

“What happened then?” He didn’t back down.

Tightness in her chest rebounded quicker than it had abated. She pulled out the chair and sat, using the kitchen table as a buffer. “I met this guy while celebrating a friend’s birthday at a club. We went out the next week. I found out he was in the Army over dinner, but he seemed like such a nice guy. Talked about his family and what he wanted to do when he got out of the Army.”

The story came easier as Linc eased silently into the other chair, angling it so he was closer and not directly across from her.

“We went to dinner and a movie another night. Then, he invited me to a party in his apartment complex. We’d both had too much to drink to drive, so we went back to his apartment. After a while, I tried to put the brakes on things . . .” She gave minimal information.

“And he didn’t take no for an answer.”

“Not exactly. He said it wasn’t fair because he was ‘too worked up to stop.’ So, I—I did what he wanted.” She fought back the tears as helplessness, shame, and guilt pressed down on her like a concrete slab. “It’s just as much my fault.”

“No!Youdidn’t do anything wrong.” Linc’s tone lowered the temperature in the room. “You said no. That should have been the end of it. Getting ‘too worked up?’ That’s utter bullshit. No guy ever died from that. He could have gone and jacked off. Trust me, he does that regularly anyway. You have the right to say no—atanytime. Even if you initially gave consent. Even if you’ve had sex with him before. It’s your body. Pressuring you to do a sexual act against your will, minimally, it’s sexual assault. Or date rape, which is still rape.”

His passionate words delivered a powerful blow to the blame she’d carried since. Though it also drove home the reality she’d tried to deny. It wasn’t a matter of things going too far. She had been sexuallyassaulted.

“Look at me.” He paused until she did. “I’m sorry it happened to you. I’ve seen what it can do to a person. I don’t want it to ever happen to you again or to keep screwing up your life.” His voice cracked, and he broke eye contact, but not before she saw the grief in his eyes.

Clearly, he was a protector. Bri. Jalen. Even trying to protect her. “I did talk to a counselor but didn’t delve into all the specifics.” Since she didn’t want to be told it was her fault. “Certain situations can still be triggering.”

“I get that. Thank you for trusting me enough to be honest.”

“I do trust you.” More than she’d trusted any man since then. “We both need to get to sleep. It’s been a long day.” Reliving what Don had done to her had drained the little energy remaining, though, surprisingly, she was in a better frame of mind than before they had this conversation.

He nodded and didn’t stop her as she retreated to the bedroom.

After an hourthat seemed like an eternity, Kendra finally admitted defeat and got out of bed. When she cracked the bedroom door, she could make out Linc sitting on the couch, his face lit by the computer screen. His head jerked up as she drifted into the living room.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked.

“Not when I’m no closer to finding Regina or Bri than I was this morning. Guessing you couldn’t either.” He shifted on the cushion. “Sorry if I overstepped earlier.”

“You didn’t. I needed to hear what you said.” She sat on the couch, curling a leg under her to semi-face him. “About two weeks, after—it, I told two of my friends. One had a similarexperience in college. I guess I wanted them to tell me he was wrong, and I wasn’t to blame. Instead, I came away with more of a sense of ‘we put ourselves in a bad situation and decided to give in rather than stand up for ourselves.’ I thought I’d be able to let it go, but . . .”

“It doesn’t magicallyunhappen or go away.”

He was right there. Little things like his unanticipated touch earlier were reminders. “It wasn’t too long after that when I met you. I was afraid of getting into a situation I couldn’t control again.” That night still made her distrustful—of men and herself.

“I get that.” Linc nodded in a manner that reassured her he did understand—unfortunately, because of what had happened to Bri.

“It took a while to start dating, and I’ve only had one long-term relationship.” Most guys weren’t interested in taking things as slow as she needed. “Marcus was older and more mature than guys my age. When I finally told him what happened, he was understanding and patient, but he never dispelled the blame I’ve carried like you did tonight.” She sniffed and knuckled away a tear that escaped. Normally, even thinking about it raised her anxiety, and she couldn’t maintain eye contact. But Linc’s early reaction validated and empowered her.

“If it weren’t for what happened to Bri, I might not get it either. But I saw what it did to her. She was only twelve, and it—it tears me up that I wasn’t there for her. I saw how their dealer looked at Bri, but I left to shoot hoops with the new ball they gave me.” His face pinched.

“Linc, you had no way of knowing they would let that happen.”

“Letit happen?” he scoffed. “Theysold herso they could get high.”

She didn’t want to believe Bri’s own parents would do that. But, in Kendra’s line of work, she’d seen similar—and worse, so she didn’t contradict him.

“I quit playing ball after that night and wouldn’t leave her alone with them. I didn’t trust them, but I didn’t know what else to do to protect her or how to get her help. They died in the car accident a few months later. I tried to tell Mrs. Feldman what happened. Except, she didn’t want to hear it—and admit her son pimped out his daughter for drugs. Bri never got counseling. If she had, maybe she wouldn’t have turned to drugs. Just like our mom. And it’s why she didn’t value herself, and . . .”

Kendra laid a hand on Linc’s arm. “It’snot your fault.You were a kid. You tried to get her help. And you’ve been there for her when she got arrested and could have gone to jail. When she could have lost custody of Jalen. And you’re here now.” He’d taken leave and come all the way back here because Bri said she was in trouble. He could have blown it off. “I hope the authorities find her and she gets out of this.”

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