Page 110 of Broken

Jet’s arms wrapped around me as I watched it all unfold, and he pulled me back near the window out of the way, tears now streaking down my cheeks. I held onto him as we watched the nurses work, Izzy’s cries still hysterical, her heart breaking at what I knew I could never fix.

Tucker had dropped back into the chair that was cast aside in the commotion, his tears flowing freely as he clutched the chair’s arms for dear life.

Soon after the nurses emptied the syringe, Izzy’s started to settle, but her tears never stopped, and eventually, the nurses released her to step back out of the room.

Tucker went to her side and crawled into the bed next to her, wrapping an arm carefully around her as they cried, both of their hearts clearly broken. Shattered in a way that no one should ever have to feel. I watched as he whispered in her ear, and the crack in his last, “I’m sorry,” did me in.

I hurried from the room and all but ran down the hall to a deserted waiting area, pacing the small space back and forth only twice before Jet caught up to me. He pulled me into hisarms, his embrace strong as I clutched to him for support, and I buried my face into his shoulder, my tears now full-powered sobs.

He held me there, letting me fall apart in his arms, my steady force in the storm. I knew we would have to go back eventually. Izzy would be out in no time, and Tucker would be in no shape to leave alone, but right now, we were all where we needed to be...Tucker comforting Izzy, her pain so fresh and new, and Jet and I comforting each other.

He tightened his embrace, his own tears now starting to flow. It was too much to take, breaking us all in a way I didn’t know how we’d ever recover.

ISABEL

I laid in Tucker’s arms, his tears flowing into my hair and down my cheek to mix with mine. They were still streaming but much less violent.

I had fought hard. My frenzied resistance was all I could do to keep the soul-crushing pressure at bay, but now, as the medicine worked its way further into my system and I slipped slowly back into unconsciousness, I felt my defeat. A piece of my heart was now lost…numb…dead.

Chapter 29

ISABEL

It was days before I was back home again, and nothing about how I’d felt that day in the hospital had changed, eating at me from within as I stayed wrapped in the cocoon of my bed. Not that that was a relief at all. It didn’t matter where I was. My heart was irrevocably damaged, everything in me withered.

There was movement downstairs. Apparently, my family hadn’t left for the Thanos’ yet. They really needed to give up on me going. I had absolutely zero desire to celebrate the New Year or my birthday for that matter. It wouldn’t change anything. That piece of my heart would still be gone. Lifeless. I wasn’t sure if it still even beat anymore. It felt more like a dead weight just lying there in my chest.

I wouldn’t hold it against anyone else who wanted to celebrate the New Year, though. They hadn’t suffered my loss. Theyshouldn’t stop living just because my world had come to a crude, unexpected standstill.

All I wanted to do was lie here in my bed and stare at the wall. The bare monotony of it suited me just fine. It matched the numbness that stemmed from the dead weight in my chest, a numbness that consumed me almost completely.

Every now and then, often when I least expected it, the living fraction of my heart would send sharp, momentary stabs of grief through my chest so strong that I sometimes wondered how they didn’t tear the only beating part of the necessary organ into shreds.

I wished it would. The numbness was bearable. The pain wasn’t.

There were footsteps coming up the stairs. I wondered who it would be this time. Mom, Annie, and Archer had all tried to talk me out of bed several times since I’d come home from the hospital a few days ago. Jet and Emma also made attempts when they would come over. Even Leo stopped by a couple of times to give it a try.

The only person who hadn’t made the effort was Tucker. The last time I’d seen or heard from him was when he’d helped me up to my bedroom. I laid down. He kissed my head, said “I love you,” and left.

His absence didn’t surprise me really. I’d been anticipating it. He’d come to see me every day I was in the hospital, but he was distant, never able to look into my eyes anymore, as if he was there in body, not in spirit.

I didn’t blame him. I understood why. I’d want to get away from me too if I could, anything to get away from the torturous guilt that constantly lingered on the outskirts of my mind, threatening to break through into my every thought.

It still hurt, though. Tucker’s detachment seemed to be the one thing that could penetrate the numbness, making it more of a hollow ache when I allowed myself to think about him.

When I felt the ache draw near again, I quickly shoved those memories aside. I really couldn’t handle it right now. I just wanted the numbness. That was safe to feel. Or not feel, depending on how you looked at it.

I focused on the dull purple wall in front of me. Funny. The color had seemed so much more cheerful when Annie and I had picked it out.

A light tap sounded on the cracked bedroom door.

“Izzy?”

Mom. I didn’t answer. I never really talked anymore. Maybe she would think I was asleep and leave without the wasted effort.

Nope.

Her footsteps were now crossing the room.

---