Page 2 of Naughty Elf: Shimmersnap

“You’re being sent to live with humans in a place called Bland, Michigan.”

Michigan. I knew that was the state shaped like a mitten. I always thought it was kind of cute. I loved the way the lakes around there glistened and shined. I almost wanted to add glitter to them. I had tried to once, but of course, I was stopped.

I didn’t really love the whole “Bland” idea, but surely that was just the name and not the personality.

“Where am I going to go?” I asked.

“Now, this might sound scary, but just trust me on it. We’re going to turn you into a statue and put you somewhere that your mate can find you. You aren’t unique in this either, Shimmersnap. There are several other elves on the naughty list who are getting the same sort of treatment. With a few variations.”

“A statue?” I had heard, of course, of other elves being turned into statues. It was always punishment, though, for those that were bad boys and girls. I hadn’t been bad. All I wanted to do was make the world sparkle.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be there long. We have plans to make sure that you make it into the hands of a very special person. Your human mate.”

I got excited at that. I thought humans were fun. “Is it going to be one of those exciting ones? Maybe one that, like, has a real cool job and does awesome things? Sequins are all the rage these days thanks to that Taylor Swift. Will I be with one of those humans? Maybe one of her backup dancers?”

“No, this human is a bit different than you.”

“Well, yeah, all humans are different than me. I’m an elf. How different?”

“He does taxes for a living.”

My eyes bulged. I thought for a moment they’d fall out of their sockets. “Taxes? But that’s numbers and math and ledgers andbalance and... boring. That’s absolutely boring! You can’t send me there! There has to be some mistake! He and I will have nothing in common.”

“We can, and we are. We’re going to arrange for your items to go in storage with Dancer. You remember him, right?”

I nodded. He was one of the reindeer I had worked with in the past. He was a close friend of mine. He knew about this? He was behind this?

My supervisor patted my shoulder. “Trust us, Shimmersnap. It’s better this way.”

How could it possibly be better this way? Right then, at that moment, my sparkle became a dull glow, almost entirely extinguished. Not even glitter was going to make this situation better.

Chapter 2

Walter

“Why must you drag me to these events?” My complaint came out sounding a little too childish, and I wanted to suck the words back in.

Some days, I really didn’t like that I was as curmudgeonly as I was. Other days, I really leaned into it. Today, I leaned into it.

“Oh, come on, this is fun!” my oldest friend, Mason said.

“Fun?” I looked around. We were inside an ancient house, which still had its original wallpaper and trim, of a recently deceased 94-year-old woman who apparently had a penchant for porcelain teacups with intricate floral designs that were way too small to hold any liquid of actual sustenance.

And Christmas. So much Christmas.

“What is up with these sales and always having an overabundance of Christmas things? Haven’t people figured out that Christmas is just a silly holiday?” I frowned at the mountain of porcelain Christmas village houses.

More than one person in the cramped room shot me a glare.

Mason scoffed. “Silly holiday? Goodness gracious, Walter.”

“Well, I’m not wrong, am I?” I spoke quieter now in an attempt to keep this conversation between us.

“You are absolutely wrong. Christmas is the best!” Mason didn’t have the same volume setting.

“Well, it’s February, and I’m allowed to think that Christmas is stupid. No one’s even thinking about it right now. They won’t think about it again until November, when they’re all scrambling to buy gifts for people they don’t actually care about, all in the name of one-upping each other.”

He rolled his eyes. “Someone obviously got coal in their stocking this year.”

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