Page 28 of In the Grey of Dawn

His voice is so vulnerable I have to squeeze my eyes closed in the darkness, pulling his arms tight around me. Taking a stuttered breath I do the only thing I can think of. I comfort him. I trace the map of his forearms with my fingertips, the dips of his muscles complimented by the veins and tattoos. My body pressed firmly against his and I hope he knows he's not alone. I can't find the right words, and I don’t want to come off as if his lack of explanation is not enough, so I say nothing. I fall asleep in his arms only to wake up alone. The sun peeking through the windows and Porter nowhere to be found.

Chapter 16 - Charlie

“Icouldn't find him,” I groan. “I didn’t search very hard, but in my defence, there is literally only one other room in his apartment, and he wasn't in it. I don't even know what we are doing. We're not dating other people but we're not together. Does that mean we are friends with benefits? But then he said we had to spend every night together, which feels like more than friends with benefits.”

I’m exacerbated.

This is the most confusing and not confusing situation I've been in.

“I don't think you're friends with benefits,” Mila says, sitting up on the couch. Ragnar moves his head from her lap to adjust himself before he gets comfortable again. She has so much colour in her face and is looking fresh and clean after a shower. Her vomiting has dropped to about five times a day and she's managed to maintain her weight now so I'm hopeful that the worst of it is over.

“Ladies,” Ace drawls, as he walks into the open plan living area. “Mila you're absolutely glowing today.”

“Thanks, I just vomited so it's probably just a little sweat I worked up, but I'll take it,” she says, grinning up at him.

“Now what the heck am I supposed to say to that? I don't know how all you women get out of bed each morning knowing you have to have periods and pregnancies. I'd rather get kicked in the balls every day for the rest of my life than have to put up with all that shit.”

“Don't overthink it Ace, men are the lesser sex for a reason,” I say, trying to make him feel a little better. He's starting to look a little frazzled and after what Mila told me happened when he learned about periods, I’d rather not overload him if I don't have to.

“Too fucking right we are. No thank you, ma’am, I wouldn’t last a day as a woman,” he says, taking off his baseball cap and wiping his brow.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if men realised how easily society would fall if women didn't pick up the slack on almost everything. Sure, there are both male and female dominated industries but I would argue that if women as a whole stopped the everyday things that are expected of us, men would be begging on their knees after a week. It makes a refreshing change for such a manly guy like Ace to just flat out say that he couldn't handle being a woman.

“I was just telling Mila about the new guy Tristan. He seems alright. A little odd but okay still?”

The blaring side eye Mila gives me is so blatant she may as well have just said out loud that we weren’t talking about him at all but I’ll be damned if the whole room has to know all about my insecurities. Even if the whole room is just Ace.

“There’s something about him I can't quite put my finger on. He’s come in a few times and been weird with Nova not realising I was in Pages or out in the kitchen. The guy just gives me the wrong vibes but he hasn't done anything either.”

A frown appears across his brow, no doubt thinking of the enigma that is Tristan. I understand what he's saying though. There is just something off about the guy.

“How's the packing going? You're leaving in three weeks right?”

It's almost time for Ace and Dante to leave on the mission they've been working towards, and Dante has been stressing over leaving because they’re not exactly sure how long they'll be away for. On top of all of that, they have their twenty week anatomy scan of the baby coming up and he's suddenly decided that there's a high chance the uranium glass salad bowl his grandparents had when he was a kid has somehow impacted his sperm and little Cleatus the foetus in Mila’s tummy now has a third arm.

“In two weeks and six days. I’ve just printed out an expected timeline and sent a copy to your email. There’s also a calendar app I've set up which I’ll sync with you, and you have a satellite phone, as well as a backup in case something happens to that one,” Dante grumbles as he walks into the kitchen, tacking laminated sheets to the wall.

We all look at him and his determination. Mila lets out a knowing sigh as she sits on the couch and Ace scratches his head looking at me and shrugs his shoulders. We all recognise that Dante is just trying to control what he can with all of the uncertainty that's been happening lately.

Nova appears from the side hallway where she was trying to help Ace pack but the worried look on her face is concerning. Immediately Ace moves from the kitchen and cups her face, “What's happened?” he says. His voice is calm but the vein that's popping out in his forehead gives him away.

“I just got off the phone with my sister. Apparently, my mum has been extra controlling since she got engaged and my sister's freaking out … I have some bad news,” she almostwhispers, turning from Ace and looking at Mila. “I need to go visit her soon, basically the same time you guys are away on your mission which means I can't stay here anymore. ”

“That's completely okay, Nova,” Mila says calmly. “I'll have Charlie and Ragnar, we can even rope Porter into staying if we need to.I will be fine.”

Although she's responding to Nova you can see her talking to Dante, the metal water bottle he was about to drink from slowly being bent from how tight he's gripping it.

“I think I'm going to take a nap. Baby, if you're not busy can you come and help me get comfortable.” She walks over to Dante and gently takes his hand, pulling him up the stairs to their room.

The stress he must be feeling is enormous. I know I'm here for Mila and we're all rallying around them both to help where we can but I sometimes wonder if he needs a little extra help too, and I hope Ace and Porter have been giving that to him.

With Mila and Dante upstairs, and Nova and Ace deep in conversation, I take the moment to try and make sense of some of the information I found out about Porter, and call my very own expert in the subject, Dimi.

Taking the blanket from the couch I walk into the frigid winter air over to the porch swing, wrapping myself up tightly, the phone only rings once before he answers my call.

“Getting stabbed just isn't the same when you're not here to fix me, Charlie,” Dimi says over the phone rather enthusiastically.

“I miss you too, you walking band-aid. I don't want to interrupt you if you're busy but I wanted to check something with you. A guy you might know something about?”

---