Page 31 of In the Grey of Dawn

Feelings are not something I dabble in a lot anymore, so knowing I left her alone this morning and then watching her leave. I'm struggling to make sense of how to fix it, howIfix it.

Dante messages me every morning to say when she's arrived at Ace’s house and then again when she leaves. I asked him to do that when I first realised she was coming here to help Mila. So even though she doesn't know, and doesn't need to know I keep tabs on her, this raw tightness in my chest feels better when I have a rough idea of where she is and who she's with.

Dante seemed to understand what I meant when the only explanation I gave him wasI just need to know she's okay, grunting at me that he's the same way with Mila.

I received my morning message of her arrival but I still haven't received one that she's left. It's not completely unheard of for her to stay a little later but the longer I go without hearing of her whereabouts, the more frustrated I get about it and how I left her this morning.

Leaning on the bar, there is a lull between patrons and I use it to quickly take out my phone and bring up my messages. Intending to send something short and direct so I don’t muck it up too badly.

Me:Hry i cmt messahe calk me

Pressing send before I double check what I typed and instantly regretting why I even bothered.

Oh my fucking gods, I don’t even know what I’ve said and I wrote the fucking message. Throwing afuck itto the universe, I call her. Hoping she picks up despite the cold shoulder I gave her this morning.

“Hey, I just got your message … um, what does it say?” she asks, answering my call rather politely, despite the utter chaos I sent her.

“Sorry, I'm not good at messages. My fingers are too big so I end up pressing the wrong keys. I swear I'll only call from now on.” I say, scrambling to explain myself.

“That's okay, I happen to like your big fingers,” she laughs into the phone. Somehow managing to makebig fingerssound like the most suggestive thing ever. Sweet heavens above, this woman will be the death of me.

“Charlie,” I growl.

“What?I like the way they make me my drink when I have dinner, and I like that they make the best grilled cheese I've ever had. But the thing I love most about them is when they fuc—”

“Stop,” I grunt, “The last thing I need is one of the old codgers coming up to the bar for a beer and I've got a raging hard on. I’ll make you a dripping mess on my fingers later when I fuck you with them, but for the love of all things good, please stop winding me up when I only have my hand to use and not that sweet pussy of yours. Speaking of, what time can I expect you tonight?”

I'm starting to get anxious over her being away from me. I want her near me at all times, and if she was working with anyone other than Mila, I'd have to check on her several times a day because now that I've had her, sunk my cock into her, claimed her … she's mine.

Sighing, she lowers her voice and purrs, “Is that a promise?”

“You have no idea.” The words spilling from me in a low rumble. “What time will you be home?” I ask again, seeing she ignored my question and immediately I'm kicking myself. Fucking idiot.

I saidhome.

We’ve had one fucking night together and here I am acting like we’ve been together forever and this is just our routine.

Our day to day.

I've never had to really try for women. They always seemed to line up when I felt the itch, even Lila just seemed to make sense when I first saw her. But Charlie's not like any of them. She's the first woman I've met who has her own wants and desires. She won’t settle and isn't looking for another person to fulfil anything for her.

If you're in her life it's because she wants you in it, end of. There’s no grey with her.

“I've got some laundry to do when I get to my place and then I'll head to the bar after that, if that's okay? I've had a bit of a long day trying to navigate all the emotions surrounding the guys going away soon and I'm a little drained. Oh, that reminds me. Would you be open to coming to stay out here at the house while they’re on their mission? Nova can’t anymore and I think it would make Dante feel better if he knew a big burly hunky man was here with us.”

“Hunky aye?” I can't help but grin at her words. “You think I'm hunky?”

“Oh gods no, you're like a troll. Dante thinks you're a hunky piece of man meat that he can't wait to grill,” she says laughing.

“I'm not sure if that makes me uncomfortable or not,” I say honestly.

“I’ll message you when I'm leaving my place, and no you don't have to message back. Who knows what it will say if you attempt it.”

I can hear the smile in her voice and gods it makes me miss her. She can't come back soon enough. I really have no clue what I'm doing with her. I've been stewing all day over what I thought was her storming out this morning, but is it possible I read the situation entirely wrong and she was just going to work?

“Hey, Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

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