Page 32 of In the Grey of Dawn

“I've missed you today. I'm really looking forward to seeing you later.”

I hear the deep breath she takes and the silence echoes a little longer than it should.

“I should get going,” she sighs, “it's going to take me a while to pack up here.”

“Yeah, all good. See you in a bit.” I say, trying to stay neutral with my tone. Her rejection makes me flex my hand tighter around the phone until I hear it crack slightly.

“Hey, Ports?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Chapter 18 - Porter

I'm not spiralling. I’m just going to wait patiently for another eighteen minutes and then I'm going to her place. My palms have been sweating for the past two hours since she messaged, and I've been trying not to spiral for the past hour.

She’s usually here around 6 pm. And even if she had laundry to do she should be here by now. Considering the stress I'm feeling, I think I've been doing alright. Ionly almostbroke this one kid's arm when he and his friends started getting rowdy. Just because it's legal for you to drink doesn't mean you should, and they were an easy target for me to release some of my tension out on. I've been trying to distract myself but I only end up starting something before I get sidetracked and stop.

She said she had laundry to do,nothing has happened. I repeat the words over and over, trying to keep my breathing under control, but failing miserably. I’ve been attempting to minimise this heightened state I'm in, and I know I've somehow convinced myself that because I've decided to make a go of things with her, it's all going to be torn away from me again.

She's safe, just running a little late.

I swear I can smell blood? The coppery tang permeating through the bar.

She messaged she was leaving Ace’s house and Dante confirmed it about thirty seconds later.

She's just doing laundry.

Fuck this.

Quickly, I walk over to my favourite employee, Mel. She's reliable, hard working and doesn't take any shit when patrons get unruly.

“Can you close up tonight? I'm heading out.”

“Sure ... Is everything okay? You’ve nevernotclosed up?” she says, a concerned look across her face.

“It's fine ... just, something came up.”

Moving around the bar I head toward the front door, not bothering to take my truck when it's a two block walk.

“Porter. PORTER!” Mel yells out, everyone pausing a second to look. “Your jacket,” she sasses, holding it up in one hand with her other resting on her hip. Skulking back to her, I grab my jacket, not bothering to acknowledge that I was too lost in my own thoughts to realise I was heading out in below freezing with only my henley on.

Trudging through the snow I don't care that I'm getting wet, that I forgot a beanie and my ears are cold. I don't care that people cross the street to avoid me when I make it to the main road, or that I can see the flicker of her fireplace from the street. The rest of the windows are dark which only feeds into this idea that something has happened.

They found her and I wasn't there …again.

Cutting through a small walking alley a few stores down, I make my way up the stairs at the back of Nova’s coffee shop, unsure if I should stomp my feet to tell her someone’s here or silently sneak up. But by the time I decide it doesn't matter if she hears me or not, I'm already banging on her door.

“Charlie? CHARLIE?” I yell.

Nothing.

I start taking my multi-tool off my key chain and unwind a small key ring wire I keep handy for this reason. It's been a few years since I’ve had to pick a lock but after a few grunts and a couple of loud bangs, I'm finally under control enough to hear the click of the mechanism and turn the handle.

“Charlie, you better be naked and ready for punishm—” I mumble, storming into her apartment braced but not entirely ready to face what could be waiting for me.

Please, just no more blood.

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