Page 34 of In the Grey of Dawn

Swiftly, I undress, knowing I'm going to have to do more laundry as all of our clothes are now covered in pepper spray, then guide him into the shower.

“Here turn this way. Put your face right under the water and try not to rub it,” I soothe, gently tilting his head so it's in the perfect place.

His hands move to my waist, keeping me with him as his breathing slows and his face relaxes. Taking a moment to explore my body, his hands wander across all the parts he can touch without moving his face from the water stream, until one eases up and holds my throat. I rest my head against his chest, close my eyes and just enjoy this closeness, completely ignoring how we got here. There's something comforting when he does this, and I'm not sure if this is just a part of who he is or a way for him to pull me closer. It never feels threatening or controlling which I would expect it to be. It's almost tender, the way his hand gently takes my throat and the firmness of his fingers only help to make me feel secure in what we’re doing.

Secure in us.

“I fell asleep on the couch. I've been a little tired lately, I was just enjoying the heat of the fire and fell asleep. I'm sorry if you worried,” I practically whisper.

I choose not to look at him when I say this. I don't want to see the anger in his eyes or disappointment. He still won’t let me into his secrets so I understand that this could trigger him. I saidI was going to message and I didn’t so I need to at least own my part in all of this.

“No,” he sputters out, coughing aggressively for a moment. Taking my face he tilts my head up, the whites of his eyes so red he looks like a demon with the contrast to his dark irises. “You don't have to apologise for this. I want you to fight back no matter what, I need you to fight back. Every time Charlie, no matter what happens, you fight back, okay?”

His voice is so raw and husky, and I can't help but wince knowing I'm the one who hurt him. I gently rub his side, a deep purple hue appearing from where I kicked him.

“I’m sorry for this,” I say, my fingers skimming over the bruise. “And for this,” as I reach up and rub my hands gently across his face, stretching up onto my tiptoes to run my fingers across his skull.

“I’m proud of you, baby.” He says, pressing his lips to the top of my head, whispering, “I love getting my ass handed to me by you.”

Shutting his red swollen eyes, his face softens to my touch as I firmly rub his head and neck. Leaning over, he lifts me from under my thighs and I wrap my legs around his waist. I can feel his hard length between us and I reach down and put him at my entrance before he pushes inside, both of us letting out a low groan. “It feels better this way. I just need to be a little closer to you right now. It's been a big 24 hours,” I whisper.

“Promise me. You'll always fight back like tonight, no matter the situation. You won't stop fighting,” he growls.

“I promise,” I say, searching his eyes for where this raw honesty has come from. “Do you want to tell me about it?” I can't help but ask. I need to know a little more about his past but I also don't want to force him. He's clearly gone through something and even though I'm not bothered by the likelihoodof him being this big mafia man, I still want to know how to navigate everything.

“Who taught you how to fight?” he murmurs, still holding me tightly as the hot water runs over us.

Okay, I guess we’re not talking about his stuff then. I can play the long game when I need to. He won't be able to avoid this conversation forever. Eventually, I'm going to need to know.

“As much as I love them, I don't really want to be thinking about my dad and brothers when your balls deep in me, so can we save talking about my overprotective family until another day?” I sass, slightly frustrated at him changing the topic but not willing to let him go either. “Stay here with me tonight? I’ll have to wash our clothes to get rid of any extra pepper spray, plus I don't want to go back out tonight.”

“Did you forget already? We stay together every nightmoye spaseniye[4]. Thisis happening, Charlie. There is no other world in which we part,” he says, softly kissing my lips. Deepening it as he pushes me against the shower wall.

“What does that mean? You’ve said it a few times ... tell me,” I moan, as he slowly eases in and out of me. My body already adjusted to his hard cock.

For the several minutes we talked, we were one whole person,connected,and not fractured parts being held together. I can feel him smile as he continues to kiss me, never once stopping his assault on my senses.

“It means you’re my everything.”

Chapter 20 - Charlie

“Congratulations, you’ve made it to the halfway point. Now, let's look at this baby,” Dr Johnson says, grinning. The explosive sound of the ultrasound gel sputtering onto Mila's round belly causes us all to stare intently; the silent hum of the machine, the only thing that can be heard as we all wait while Dr Johnson moves the transducer across her skin.

“There’s ten fingers and ten toes. Spine looks healthy and their heartbeat is strong. And you're sure you don't want to know the sex?”

“No,” Mila says.

“Yes,” Dante says, at the exact same time, looking at Mila sheepishly. One final attempt for him to know the sex of their baby.

“Okay, so that's sorted then. We’re having a surprise. I’m sorry, there’s no way I'm making a pregnant woman angry at me, especially Mila. You'll just have to wait like everyone else,” he says, patting Dante’s arm. “I know it's of little condolence seeing you've had such a go of it but that's one healthy baby you got there. You're twenty weeks and four days, try to enjoythis moment and how far you've come, sweetheart. You're doing everything right.”

Why is it when old grumpy men get a little bit soft and gooey, it makes me tear up. Mila’s trying not to cry, silently nodding at Dr Johnson and taking in his beautiful words. Dante looks like a proud papa bear, taking in his growing family and all the hurdles they've overcome, and then there's me, the silent observer in the corner watching this intimate moment unfold.

Mila wanted me here in case there was something wrong and she didn't understand the medical talk, but everything is amazing. It's also a bit of a well deserved reward for them to know that despite the hyperemesis, the mountain of medication and the sometimes hourly struggle each day has been, that their little baby is taking what it needs and is getting stronger each day.

“If it's okay, I'm going to slip away now, let you all have a bit of time together,” I say, reaching down to rub Mila's shoulder. Her hand clasps mine and for a moment a sea of words unsaid crosses between us, her eyes overflowing with gratitude before I quietly leave the room.

Leaning against the wall, just outside their room I take satisfaction in how much life has changed since moving to Hidden Valley. Everything we're doing is working. The baby is super healthy, Mila seems to be turning a corner, and her vomiting and nausea appear to be slowing down. I know it's only been a few weeks of Porter and Iactuallybeing in a relationship, but I could seriously fall in love with him.

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