Page 4 of Keeping Lilith

But some days…

Julian shook his head to dispel the thoughts. Once he parked the car, he closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing.

Was he really a better person? Or was he just brainwashing himself in a different way? A way that was as false as what he’d grown up believing?

“No, Iama better person,” he muttered to himself as he got out of the car. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on the intricacies of how his mind worked. He had a job to do, one he would do competently and efficiently.

Julian strode toward the house, noting the women being led toward one set of the buses the FBI had brought in. The men would be transported in another set of buses after the women and children were evacuated. No doubt some women wouldobject to being separated from their “husbands” because it took them longer to leave the shackles of the cult behind.

Kayce “Deal” Simmonds was standing by the office door when Julian reached it. “All good?” he asked the former SEAL.

“As can be expected. The guy is a douche who thinks he’s a god. He spouted he was to be known as ‘The Great Sir Staunton.’ The guy’s delusional.” Disgust laced Deal’s voice, and Julian couldn’t blame him. The name was ridiculous, but not surprising. There were some who thought the most over-the-top name was the best way to get everyone to kowtow to whatever shit they were sprouting.

“That’s a different one, for sure. Is the room clear?” he asked, not really wanting to be exposed to the cult leader, but he would deal with him if he was still there. Sometimes Julian took perverse pride in them being present when he took back all the personal property and identification the leader had taken from their followers. It was like a “fuck you” to them that their control was being stripped away.

The door opened, and Irish stepped inside, his hand gently cupping the elbow of a woman. She wore a faded yellow smock, the sleeves long and the fabric at her knees grubby. She wore sandals that had seen better days.

Anger swirled in Julian at the way she hadn’t been given the decency to be able to bathe herself regularly. Nothing about places like The Hopeful Sunshine should surprise him, yet there was always something that had him shaking his head. Normally, women in organizations like the one they just raided allowed women to bathe regularly. What was different about this one? Right now, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was making sure the women and children were taken to safety.

Julian looked at the woman’s face, and his breath caught. He recognized her. Warmth stole through him as a rush of emotions—ones he’d only ever felt the first time he had looked at her—flooded him. He blinked, sure that he’d conjured her up because he’d been thinking about his former life.

It couldn’t possibly be her, could it?

“Lilith?”

Chapter Three

Lilith froze.It was bad enough that she’d had a meltdown when the masked men had stormed Staunton’s office. Reminders of the last time she’d been in a similar situation had slammed into her, and instead of her flight instinct kicking in, she stood immobile, unable to do anything until a man came up to her, and that was when her fight instinct had shown up.She’d fought with everything she had to shake off his hold, which he’d done straight away. But he kept talking. His voice soothing in a weird way.

Eventually his words had penetrated, and she’d calmed down enough to be escorted from the room, long after they’d dragged Staunton out. While she’d been glued to the floor, he’d been shown out quicker than she could blink.

But now she wanted to run back into Staunton’s office. It somehow seemed safer in there than out here with the man who stood in front of her.

“You know her?” the man, who’d told her his name was Irish while he was trying to calm her, asked. He was barely cupping her elbow, and somehow, deep down, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her, and if she wanted to get away, he would make sure she did.

Julian Bennington nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. What was he doing here? Why wasn’t he in jail with the rest of the people who’d run Freedom and Love? Although he hadn’t been around the day of the raid. Not that she’d seen, anyway.

For months, she’d seen him from afar. Even with his scruffy hair and long beard, there had been something about him that had captured her attention. Maybe it was the way he held himself, confident, with a touch of arrogance. Typical of most of the men in the cult, but from what she’d observed, he hadn’t flaunted it as much as the rest of the men.

Of course, she’d never gone up and talked to him. Anything like that was frowned upon and led to punishment, a punishment she’d never wanted to endure. Who wanted to be banished to a shed for a week with nothing but bread and water? But there were times she’d wanted to.

And then one day,he’d been right beside her, and her palms had gotten sweaty. Her cheeks had heated, and she’d prayed that he’d think it was the sun that had caused the flush, and not his proximity.

Knowing that it was wrong to be so close to a man, Lilith had tried to ignore him when he spoke to her, but she hadn’t been able to resist. After that one encounter, hope had sprung like an oasis in her. She’d hoped life could be different for her, that she wouldn’t be forced into a marriage with a creepy, older man. Not that marriage seemed on the cards for her. She was a lot older than the other girls who were chosen. Not one man had staked a claim, something her parents constantly berated her about. Some days she’d wondered if someone had deliberately sabotaged her when she’d been of marriageable age. Said something to Ralph or one of the other elders. Although that made little sense, as her parents would’ve been told about it. Perhaps they had, and that was why they said those things they’d always said to her. There was no chance she’d ever find out now,seeing as she didn’t know where her parents were. In the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter, and it was just as well she’d never had to endure what other women had had to.

Which was why she’d thought Julian talking to her was something positive for her. That it was his way of indicating that perhaps he wanted to marry her. The fact he was still single, considering his closeness to Ralph, surprised many. She’d heard some chatter. As much as she tried to tamp it down, the idea sprouted, and she wondered if things were about to change for her.

Only, the oasis she believed she’d seen had proven to be a mirage. The next time she’d seen Julian and stopped beside him, he’d acted the way all the men acted in Freedom and Love. He’d shunned her attempt to talk. Had looked at her as if she was nothing but an annoying speck of mud on his boots. As he’d walked away from her, she’d vowed that she never wanted to see or spend time with Julian Bennington ever again. Not long after, she’d found out he was to be married, and she felt like a fool. He’d toyed with her by talking to her. Teased her into hoping. Hope was dangerous when living in a cult.

Nothing had changed, though. She still didn’t want to be anywhere near him.

Lilith shook off Irish’s light hold and rushed toward the front door of the house, wanting the freedom it represented.

Once outside, she didn’t stop. She ran past the people gathering up the members of the cult and headed for her hut. It wasn’t much, but it had still been hers.

No one attempted to grab her, and when she got inside, she closed the door and leaned against it, her chest heaving from her exertion.

Why didn’t she feel elated Staunton had been taken away? That The Hopeful Sunshine commune was possibly being disbanded? Just like Freedom and Love had been.

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