Page 14 of Keeping Lilith

“Umm, water will be fine,” she said after a moment, still standing in the doorway.

“Okay.” Cass stood and walked to the fridge, brushing her hand across Irish’s shoulder as she passed him.

An unexpected yearning flared to life inside of Lilith. She wanted that. Wanted someone who was happy to see her.Wanted to touch her with affection, not anger. She was tired of being treated as if she were worthless. Then again, she hadn’t done herself any favors with the decisions she’d made, so it wasn’t a surprise that she had been treated badly.

“Here you go.” Cass held out a bottle of water for her.

“Thanks.” Lilith took and twisted the cap off before taking a couple of swallows. The cool liquid slid down her throat, and she relished the taste of non-boiled water. That had been all she’d been allowed to drink in the last year.

Irish placed a plate on the table. There was some bacon and two eggs on the plate. “I made your eggs over hard. That means the yolk is cooked all the way through. Seeing as you’ve only ever had scrambled eggs, I figured this was probably the best way to cook them for you.”

“Thanks.” If she wanted to eat, she had to walk into the sunny, welcoming room and sit down. Something she’d been avoiding doing, and she wasn’t sure why. Eating around people wasn’t what she was used to. But she wasn’t at the commune anymore. She was free. Free to do whatever she wanted. If she wanted to sit on the floor and eat, she could—even though that idea didn’t appeal. Because she’d done that so many times in the past, it would be the norm for her. Not something new like sitting down at a table she’d been invited to.

Neither Cass nor Irish said anything. Thankfully, they let her move at her own pace.

Why couldn’t she be normal? Why couldn’t she accept this hospitality?

Because she was so used to everything having strings attached. Nothing had been given to her freely. Even during the short time she’d been out in the big world, there had been opportunities she could’ve had, if only she’d given more of herself.

But that was in the past. She wouldn’t allow anything to intimidate her now, especially not a plate of food.

With that determination firing through her, she pulled out the chair and sat down. No one spoke while they ate. Although she imagined neither Cass nor Irish were normally this quiet during meals, so she appreciated their consideration.

“Those eggs were good.” She finally broke the silence because the least she could do was thank Irish for taking the trouble to cook for her. “Can I help clean up?” she asked as she stood and picked up her plate.

“It’s not necessary. You’re a guest,” Cass responded.

“An unexpected and possibly unwanted one,” Lilith said.”

Cass stood and came over to where she still stood, holding her plate. “You can stop thinking like that right now. Yes, having you is unexpected, but not unwanted. After what you’ve been through, you need a safe place, and this is it for you. You can stay as long as you want.”

The vehemence in Cass’s tone convinced Lilith she meant it. “Thank you.”

She wanted to say more, but knew if she did, she could offend them, because right now, she feared she would say words she couldn’t take back.

The next few minutes passed without conversation as she kept her word and cleaned up, even though Cass said she didn’t have to. She planned to contribute as much as she could.

While she was stacking the dishwasher, Irish was on his phone, glancing up occasionally. It should’ve made her uncomfortable having his attention on her, but strangely it didn’t because he wasn’t leering at her like one of the men from the cult, even though they hadn’t acted on those looks—which she had been extremely happy about.

“What are your plans for the day?” Irish asked, as he placed his phone on the table in front of him.

It hit her then that she didn’t have to rush outside and tend to the garden. Didn’t have to worry about getting on the bad side of men like Micah or Staunton. If she wanted to do nothing, she could. “I’m not sure. I should go to the bank and see if my account is still active. There’s not much in there, but I might have enough to have a deposit for an apartment. Not that it would be a fancy place, but it would be my own. Then I should look at trying to get a job to pay for it.”

Lilith clamped her mouth shut when Irish’s brow furrowed deeper the more she spoke. “There’s no rush,” he said gruffly. “Cass can check your bank account, save you a trip. Which bank has your account?”

“First National, but how can she do that? She doesn’t work there. She works at Alliez, right?” Lilith shifted her attention to Cass, who was tapping on her phone screen.

“I do work there, and your bank account is still active.”

“What? How do you know that?” Fear flowed through Lilith. Had she jumped from one controlling person to another? Although that didn’t seem right, but the fact that Cass could find out about her bank account scared her. What else could she do?

“Shit,” Cass came up and placed her hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry, Lilith. I didn’t have any right to delve into your private matters without asking your permission first. It’s no excuse, but I made an error of judgment. I work intensively with computers and could access the bank’s database and find your name.”

“She’s a computer genius,” Irish interrupted.

Cass smiled softly at Irish before turning her attention back to Lilith, her expression becoming intense. “Seriously, though, what I did was wrong. You’ve had so many choices taken away from you, and I just took another one away. I saw your account was still active. Still, it was wrong of me to do that. I apologize again.”

Lilith’s mind whirled at all the information given to her. It was a lot to process, but what struck her the most was how quickly Cass could get her details. What else could she find out?

---