Page 63 of The Nightmare Queen

I shrug. “Mmm. If you want to think of it like that, sure. I flashed it at her.” He slumps down next to me reaching between my legs to take the bottle of alcohol back and finishing it off.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” He asks, his voice hardening.

“You were the one who said they’d notice eventually.” I argue.

Rorin looks at me incredulously, “that doesn’t mean go and show it off! You can’t just tempt fate here with my parents, with my-my father.” His yells his words stammering together.

Interesting.“You’re afraid of them.” I say.

“Don’t use your Wield on me.” He growls.

“I don’t have to. You reek of it, you’re afraid of what they’ll do to you, and yet you defied them anyways. I honestly didn't think you'd care based on your previous lack of care for their opinions.”

The expression he gives me is a mixture of anger and pain. “Don’t do something like that again here without discussing it with me first. Make all the power moves you want in your own court, but here you wait for my say so.” He stalks off out of the room leaving me alone so I walk myself into his bedroom. Where it would seem the words avant garde should perfectly describe the whole of Vellar - they don’t even begin to cover the obscene furnishings that are housed in this glittering palace - and yet the decorators must have skipped Rorin’s room. The walls are the same marble throughout the castle, but everything else is a variety of grays, blacks, and greens. The gold filters through lightly, his tan military uniforms hang in the armoire next to his regular clothes, and his gold general’s armor stands in the corner next to the large mahogany desk but that's about all of the noticeable Vellaran touches in here.

Slipping off my shoes I feel the chill of the marble flooring. I walk around to the desk my fingers gliding along the sleek wood edge. It isn’t as large as the one in his office at Bair, but it still swallows me up as I sink into the leather seat. The idle time I have gives me a moment to hash out a letter with all of the updates, including this ridiculousfibthat Rorin has concocted, and send it off to Felix. Quickly I scribble the updates I have for him on a piece of paper and fold it, pulling out my wax and seal. Lighting the candle in front of me, I warm the wax and drip it onto the folded edge, pressing the seal down into it. The now embossed wax glints at me in the firelight as I set it aside to be sent off tomorrow. My head falls into my hands as I think of all the things I have to do.Heavy is the crown one wears.,my mind coos.I swapped one war for another but this time Ihave no Vada, and no Room to privately work out all my stresses. So showering in a scalding hot stream of water will have to suffice.

I stalk over to the bathroom and strip out of my clothing. I twist the knob all the way to right until steam billows up and out of the shower. Much like that night in Bair, the realization of where I am and who I am sharing a roof with hangs over me. It’s like I’ve signed my death warrant already by simply being here…

“I know you’re not listening to me. But if you were…you’d probably tell me what a fool I am for taking this deal. Or what a fool I am for not bringing you along. And you’re right, I am - a fool that is. On both counts.”I wait for the steady thrum of Vada's presence to run through my head but it never comes. I slide to the tiled floor, pulling my knees into my chest. The serpents on my skin slither and blink up at me as I empty my mind. Out of boredom I summon the Wield, watching the tendrils wrap and tighten around me. They brush against the scars on my thighs triggering the urge to add new ones. Unwillingly, the words the queen said tonight drift into my brain,“Maybe your mother was right to hide you. If I had a monster for a child, I’m not sure I would want them out in the world.”I used to envision hearing Mareese, if only to hear her screams as I killed her. But, in this moment at least, I think I would have lived a much happier life without ever hearing it. Because now there is a voice to my nightmares…one that isn’t just my own.They’d like to think of us as weak and vulnerable. They rightfully think of us as a monster - and if a monster is what they want, then a monster is what they will get.My conscience reminds me.

A soft knock sounds at the bathroom door interrupting my thoughts. “WHAT, princeling?!”

“Er - not the prince, Your Highness.” A soft feminine voice comes muffled through the wood –Millicent.

Turning off the water I step out of the shower and open up the door finding the taller blonde standing on the other side with my dinner in her hands. She smiles. I grimace back while snagging a towel for my hair off the shelf. “You can just set that down on the desk.” Her gaze follows me all the way to the clothing rack set up with my things, the sensation making me uncomfortable. “Oh don’t tell me you do it too.” I say, selecting a silk set off one of the hangers.

"Do what?” She asks.

I pull the chemise over my head and secure the slip robe around me tightly. “Stare. Rorin calls itobservingbut he really means staring.” I turn around to see her draping her hand across her mouth suppressing a laugh. I twist my long dark hair into a messy knot on the top of my head.

“I’m not, I was just—”

“If you dare sayobserving,Iwillrip out your vocal chords where you stand.” Her face pales slightly but the smile doesn’t falter.

Taking the somewhat lighthearted threat as her cue to leave she pushes off his desk that she's leaned against and only turns back towards me when she reaches the door. “Iwasstaring.” I eye her curiously waiting for her to finish. “You’re an enigma. You are…an elusive creature we’ve only heard horror stories about or rumors of. A monster that was meant to hide under our beds and in our wardrobes. Yet here you are now, albeit shorter than I imagined—” I snort at that, “—in the castle helping your supposed enemy with a war that isn’t yet yours.” My mouth opens to interject but she raises her hand stopping the words. “I have no doubt to the King and Queen youarethat monster. They are expecting you to act as a caged feral animal. Don’t give them the satisfaction.” We hold the others’ stare for a moment as I give her an almost imperceptible nod. The door clicks behind her.

Grabbing the food I crawl into bed and lean back against Rorin’s absurdly comfortable headboard.Of course his bed would feel like this.I grumble to myself while I mull her words over. I hate that she makes a good point, only people whocaremake good points. I don’t need another person who doesn’t know me,caring.

As for the ‘caged feral animal comment’ that was exactly what Mareese was intending to do in the garden, bait me until I snapped. I won’t give them that satisfaction. Not yet. Not until I have them wound so tightly in my web that they will be begging for me to kill them. Only then will they see how truly monstrous I can be.

I was curled up in the large silky bed drifting to sleep when I finally heard Rorin come in. Barely glancing in my direction he slipped off into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The white noise of the water seemed to go on forever before he finally emerged back out.

His dark curls lay damp against his forehead, beads of water dripping down the corded muscles of his back and absorb into the fabric of his towel. I watch the muscles flex in and out as he picks out a pair of navy pajama bottoms and starts to…oh hell no.I bolt upright in his bed. “Please to all the gods that might be left, tell me you are not about to strip down right in front of me.”As if the loosely tied towel slung low on his hips wasn’t enough of a distraction, the thought of what a sight his bare ass would be.I stop the imagery from materializing in my mind.

He doesn’t bother looking at me, chuckling lowly to himself. “Why, your Highness, think you might find something you’re…interestedin?” I glare holes into the back of his damp head and cross my arms over my chest.

“No. I don’t feel like burning my retinas into blindness at the sight of you naked.” He has one hand on the waist of his towel holding it in place.The towel shifts precariously as he walks over to the edge of the bead. Leaning his arm on the headrest he lowers his face towards mine, “most women gape in awe when they see me naked, but no one’s burnt out their own eyeballs before.”

“Well then let me be the first.” I huff out in frustration trying not to inhale too much of him.Why the hell does he have to smell so good?I duck under the covers putting distance between us and to offer him some modicum of privacy. That low laugh grows distant as he abandons my bedside. I hear the soft thud of his towel and against my better judgment I can’t stop myself from imagining what that bare ass looks like this time. My fingers squeeze the fabric tighter around my head before I lose all sense and actually look. “Are you done yet?”

“I guess that means you didn’t peek. I was done nearly five minutes ago.” I throw the covers off my head. He’s grinning while standing at the vacant side of his four poster bed. My eyes widen. “You’re not seriously going to…” His smile falls and his shoulders droop, both hands grabbing the pillows from that side. With an annoyed vigor he haphazardly sets up a cot on the floor. It takes a shameful amount of pointed effort to not gawk at noticeably scarred bare chest or those silk navy bottoms that are slung somehow lower then the towel was but not low enough toreleaseanything.

This is a punishment; it must be. Not only do I have to endure him in the same room but he has to be half dressed?And look good half dressed?

He flops onto the makeshift bed, punching the pillow a few times to get comfortable. I guess if I have to convince people we are in love, his appearance alone will make it easy. His personality on the other hand…

The stillness of the room is only slightly disrupted by soft snores filling the silence and for a moment it all feels very mundane. Then I remember where I am and who I am with and all my torrid motions come rushing back.

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