Page 100 of The Redemption of Remy St. Claire

“You never touch me.”Shit.She hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but she couldn’t pull it back now and refused to regret speaking from the heart. “How could we even make a baby if you won’t touch me? You haven’t touched me.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Since I told you I was raped.”Why does this have to be so hard?“You haven’t touched me. Like I’m dirty or something.”

“Oh, sweetheart, that was never my intention. You seemed so fragile.” He hesitated then continued. “I thought after what you shared, you might not welcome…my physical attentions.”

“I went to see Kennedy today.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Okay…” The furrow in his brow left but the expression of concern lingered. “What did she say?”

“That she’s glad I’m finally discussing this.” She looked down at her hands, seeking the strength to continue. “I’m not, though, Rusty. Happy, I mean. I never wanted to talk about this.”

He reached for her a third time and then pulled back yet again. “Well, I appreciate you trusted me enough to tell me. I want you to share your secrets with me. I want you to know you’ll always have safety with me.”

“I wish…” She closed her eyes in frustration, praying to escape. She wasnotgoing to cry. Yet, even as she had the thought, her eyes burned. She blinked several times, not meeting his gaze.I’ve had it.Giving up, she walked toward the bedroom. Once there, she turned on her bedside lamp and got into bed.

He’d followed her and now stood at the foot of the bed, shifting from foot to foot. “You wish,” he prompted.

“I wish I could say something’s changed.”

“What do you mean?”

There was a tinge of exasperation in his voice and, for a moment, she worried she was trying his patience. “I wish I could say,gee, now you know I was raped and that’s why I’m frigid, but everything will be fine.”

He stared at her, frowning.

“Is that how little you think of me? That all I care about is sex?” He shook his head. “Sex hasn’t even entered my mind. All I can think of is how can I support you? How can I show you I care? And also, how glad I am that the bastard who raped you is in jail because there’s no telling what I’d do.”

Was it that simple? Hadn’t Kennedy suggested this? She’d never considered that. Selfishly, she’d only thought about herself. How she would cope now she had revealed her most intimate and horrible secret? Rusty’s anger gave her some solace. Some hope.

“Will you hold me?” She was almost as surprised by the request as he appeared to be, but it felt right. She needed to be close to him right now.

He climbed into bed and reached for her. She came willingly—enthusiastically even. She let him pull her into his embrace as he settled beside her on the bed.

Her arms snaked around his neck, and as he tucked her head below his chin, she felt his breath on her scalp.

“I’ll never hurt you.” His words were vehement. “You know that, right?”

She nodded, her ear brushing against his T-shirt.

“If I’d known you needed me to touch you, then I would’ve touched you. Whatever you need, Remy, just tell me.” He pulled her a little closer, running his hand up and down her arm. “I…care about you. I’d lay my life on the line for you.”

“Like for the girls?”

He pulled her even closer, placing a kiss to the top of her head. “The three of you are my family, I’d do anything to protect you. I wish I’d been there five years ago. I wish I could’ve prevented this.”

She angled her face so she could meet his gaze, then traced her index finger along his jaw. His scruff was hot. Mmm, sexy. But she’d never say something to him about it.Stay on topic.“You didn’t know me five years ago.”

“And it breaks my heart when I think of what he did to you.”

“I don’t even remember it.”

He eased her from him, tipping her head and forcing her to meet his gaze. “Don’t say something like that. Don’t diminish the trauma. So what if he drugged you? So what if your conscious mind doesn’t remember? Your subconscious remembers. Your body remembers. The next morning, you knew what he’d done to you.”

“I don’t even know if I fought back.”

“Does that really matter? Sex without consent is rape. And don’t doubt he raped you.” He pulled her back into his embrace. “Tell me what I can do so you’re not hurting so much. It kills me to see you in this much pain.”

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