Page 101 of The Redemption of Remy St. Claire

Shame washed over her. He deserved better than someone like her. “Rusty, I love that you’re willing to do or say something to make me feel better.” She hesitated. “Maybe there is a way…”

“Whatever it is, I’ll do it.” There was such certitude in his tone.

“Show me.”

His hand stilled on her arm, yet he remained silent.

“Show me. Show me what it can be like. Between two people who care about each other.” She didn’t say what was really in her heart—when two people loved each other. Because they weren’t there yet. She still held hope, though.

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t know what you’re asking for.”

She pulled away, meeting his gaze. “I’m a grown woman, and I know what I’m asking. I promise. I promise I won’t freak out. I promise I won’t go crazy.”

“I’m not worried about you freaking out or going crazy. I’m worried about hurting you more. What if we went to Kennedy…?”

“I don’t want to talk to Kennedy about this.”Now or never.“I will, though. I’ll go back. I know I’m not close to being healed, and I’ll go back to see her again, okay? But tonight—just for tonight—I don’t want to be a victim. I want you to desire me. I want to taste passion. Unless you don’t want me…”

He abruptly ended her monologue with a kiss. Chaste but with a hint of what might come. “Don’t ever question whether I want you. No pressure, but you deserve the truth. I want you. I want to get to know you inside and out. I want to know what makes you happy. What makes you sad. What makes you mad, and what breaks your heart. I want to know all of it.

“A very close second is your heart. You bring such joy to my life—I want to reciprocate. And that includes the physical. You’re a beautiful woman, and I’m attracted to you. I think about what you endured, and it makes me sick.”

She placed her finger to his lips. “Please, please don’t think about it. If all you see of me is a victim, then you’ll never be able to show me.”

He kissed the pad of her finger. “You’re right. I’m trying to say I want you so much I ache. I didn’t want to say anything. I feared hurting you.”

“Don’t be afraid.” She laid her fingers against his chin. It took very little coaxing to get him to lean into a kiss. As their lips touched, her eyes drifted shut. She sighed, opening her mouth, then ran her tongue along the seam of his closed lips.

He groaned and gave her the entrance she sought.

At first, she was tentative and exploring. All those kisses they’d already shared had been so wonderful. And then there was that heady sensation of him being breathless. How could she get him to that point again? As she wound her arms around his neck, she shifted.

And his erection pressed against her.Don’t panic.This was a normal reaction for a man who was aroused, and just because this was new for her didn’t mean she couldn’t handle it. She’d never made out with the guy who raped her. More proof he’d only been after her academic papers. But now?

She was out of her depth—swimming in the ocean with no sign of shore. No way to get out of this short of sayingno. But she didn’t want to end it. She wanted to keep going. She wanted to know what it was like. She wanted this proof that there was something tangible between them. Something that’d carry them through this hasty marriage.

Her momentary distraction gave him a chance to pull away. “I’m not sure you’re ready for this.”

Undoubtedly, her next words would be the most important of her life. “I’m not afraid. It’s reassuring you’re turned on.”

Seemingly placated, he gave a curt nod.

When she tried to draw him close, however, he lifted his chin and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I have an idea.”

Uh-oh.“An idea?” She was up for ideas, right? Anything to help her get through the next few agonizing minutes.

“We need to strike a bargain.”

She quirked her eyebrow, but remained silent.

“Tonight, I need you to forget about me. Well, not me specifically, but my pleasure. I need tonight to be about you. Your needs. Your pleasure. If you get all up in your head worrying about me, it’ll be hard for you to concentrate.”

“Concentrate?”

“On you.” He pressed a kiss to her palm. “You spend your whole life doing for others and, although I love that about you, tonight you need to focus on you.”

“On me.” She echoed his words and they bounced around in her mind.

“I give you permission to act selfishly tonight. In fact.” His grin was wicked. “I insist on it.”

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