Page 53 of The Redemption of Remy St. Claire

That fact overwhelmed her. Threatened to bring her to her knees.

You’re stronger than this.

Yet was she? She wasn’t sure about that. Hadn’t been sure about that for a very, very long time.

And what about Rusty and Sissy? Obviously Sissy’d been able to offer him what Remy seemed incapable of. They’d made a beautiful child together. Things had been good for a while, and Rusty’d hung in as long as he could.

How long will he hang in with me? When will he run out of patience?

She didn’t kid herself—even a man with the patience of a saint would eventually want for more. For a normal wife. For a a normal life.

She could procrastinate no longer, so she shut off the light in the bathroom and took a fortifying breath. When she entered the room, the light cast long shadows. Her husband sat on the side of the bed, facing away from her. There was a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Proud shoulders. His spine was straight, his shoulders back. He waited for her.

If he could handle this, then so could she. She plumped the pillow against the headboard, scooted into bed and pulled the sheets and comforter up around her. As tempting as it might be, she didn’t burrow herself. He needed to see she wasn’t afraid of him. And she wasn’t. Even when she’d been half-crazed with panic, she’d known, in the recesses of her mind, he wouldn’t hurt her.

At least not physically.

Her heart was a whole different story.

Chapter twenty-two

“Youcanturnaroundnow, Rusty. I’m decent.”

He was reluctant to comply. He was more comfortable staring at the closed drapes—afraid of what he might find if he turned. But he wasn’t a coward, and her entreaty’d been gentle.

He turned toward her—still staying well to his side of the bed.

She sat cross-legged with the blankets draped across her lap. His T-shirt swamped her tiny figure, and she looked frail. He reached back in his mind to find the woman who’d pledged her life to him a few scant hours ago. There’d been no hesitation. No nerves. She’d just taken his hand and held it as he slipped a simple gold band on her finger. Instinctively he’d known she was a simple gold band kind of girl. She was fidgeting now, with that ring. Was she even aware of it?

She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Steadying herself. “I need you to know how sorry I am.”

“Remy, you have nothing to apologize for.”

She cut him a look assuring him she was now in control of her faculties. But as quickly, the façade dropped. Deep sorrow radiated from her eyes, and his heart took a knock. He wanted to take away that sorrow. He wanted to erase her pain.

Talk to me. Trust me.

“You want to know what happened.” Her hands twined in her lap, almost white, they were twisted so tightly.

“If you’re up to it. I don’t want you to revisit this if it will re-traumatize you.”

She met his gaze head-on for the first time in what felt like forever. “I’m up for it. We need to hash this out tonight. We need to figure out if there’s something salvageable.”

“There is.”Goddammit.Desperation was sinking in. “This marriage is worth it. We can make this work.”

“You make it sound so easy. You almost had me believing, you know.”

“Believing…?”

“That I could trust. That I could let someone in. That I could face my demons.” Her sad smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I tried to warn you.”

“And I didn’t listen—for which I’ll always be sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just know I didn’t do any of this to hurt you.” A sheen of tears in her eyes shimmered and threatened but didn’t spill.

“What happened?”

“I can’t feel desire. I can’t feel anything physically. I wanted to. God, Rusty, I would’ve done anything to feel desire. I wanted to. My mind was willing, but my body wouldn’t obey.”

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