“But that’s good.”
She snickered. “How can that possibly be good?”
“Because if you didn’t want to be with me, that’d be one thing. You say you want this, then help me. We can go for counseling. We can find different ways to deal with this.”Please don’t let me make it worse.“I was like a bull in a china shop—believing if I rammed through, we’d be okay. I showed zero finesse. I was no better than those other guys you were with. I’m not like them. I’m patient. I won’t lose interest, and I’m willing to keep trying until we find some way to make this work.”
“How…” She cleared her throat. “How did you know about the other guys?”
“I can’t give you specifics. But you were doing things you thought I would like. Have you ever discovered what you like?”
She squinted at him, wrinkling her brow. “What does that mean?”
“Have you ever pleasured yourself? Found out what makes you tick? What makes you feel good?”
Her eyes widened with understanding. “I’ve never touched myself. I mean, not that way.”
“Then how can you have someone else touch you and know how to feel? You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with someone else.”
“Your wife, did she…?”
How was he supposed to answer that? Sissy was not on his top one hundred list of topics to discuss on his honeymoon.
“Yes, she did.”
“And that didn’t bother you?”
“Bother me? Why would that bother me? Like I said, before Mira’s birth we had a great sex life. I’m confident enough in my masculinity that I didn’t question Sissy’s desire to masturbate sometimes.”
She closed her eyes briefly and her cheeks reddened.
He was undeterred. If they were to find a way out of this quagmire, honesty was critical. “And I’d masturbate also. I learned what I liked and then taught Sissy how to pleasure me. And she reciprocated. There’s more to sex than just body parts. There’s honesty and openness. There’s humor and laughter. There’s experimentation and lessons to be learned. It’s a process—not goal-focused. Not every sexual encounter leads to an orgasm—and sometimes it can lead to several.”
She closed her eyes again, and he stifled a grin. It’d be inappropriate for her to know it, but she amused him. The professional prosecutor was acting like a teenage virgin who knew nothing about men and women.
“Remy.” His voice was soft and coaxing.
Her eyes opened.
Good.“You said that you’re not a virgin—”
“I’m not.”
“Was it a bad experience? I mean the first time can sometimes be rough on a girl.”
“It was fine.”
So much in such a simple statement.
“When did this…lack of physical desire…start?”
“The first time was few years ago. I liked the guy fine, and we were compatible. He was a defense attorney, but that was okay. We can’t all be prosecutors.”
He covered his mouth to stifle a grin.
“Anyway, we’d gone out a few times, and I believed I was ready. He was nice and all, but I couldn’t do it. He kept touching me, and all I felt was dirty.” She hesitated. “The next guy wasn’t nearly as patient. He was the one who called me frigid. And he was right. The third guy was to prove the second one was wrong, but it turned out it he was right. After that, I stopped trying.”
Three men?All jerks, by the sounds of it. Not one willing to try anything to help her.
“I don’t believe you’re frigid. Truth be told—I don’t even like the word. The implication is there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you.” He resisted the urge to reach out to her. “The night I proposed, you felt something, I know you did.”