Page 114 of Live for Me

“I meant what I said, Memphis. There’s nothing you could say or do that’ll change my mind. Ifyouneed space, that’s fine. If you don’t, I’m right here.”

My arms locked around his waist in an instant. “You’d still stay in here with me tonight?”

He chuckled and tightened his arms around me. “Angel,” he said before pausing to sigh. “Why would you tell me it’s okay if I don’t want to be with you tonight ifyoudon’t want that? Why can’t you tell me what youdowant? Don’t set me up to fail.”

“I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve told you that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sticking with that defense.”

He shifted his arms a little lower down my body to hold me tighter before he stood upright and lifted me right off the ground. He kicked my door the rest of the way open to carry me into my own room.

“For someone so very tiny, sugar, you’re a giant pain in my ass. You know that?”

He dropped down on top of me on my bed and his hand went straight to my cheek.

It didn’t even seem possible to have had the kind of royally shitty day that I just lived through, only to feel like none of it really mattered all that much once Utah was this close. I raised up on my elbows to kiss him and found that, even with my entire body touching his, I still wasn’t anywhere near close enough. I laid back another time and put my arms around his neck to pull him down to me instead. He kissed me, but just once and very quickly before he shook his head and pulled away.

“I can’t keep kissing you like this tonight, Memphis. You imploded every bit of the self-control I used to have, and this is just not the night for me to be lying here thinking about fucking you.”

“So, don’t fuck me tonight. Make love to me, Colt. You said nothing would change this; nothing would keep you from touching me. Prove it.”

“Memphis—”

“Please,” I interrupted. “You took it all away once before. Do it again. Set me free again. Let me feel just you.”

It probably wasn’t fair to asksomuch of him.

It probably wasn’t healthy for me to turn to sex for comfort, especially now that he’d been given the background to why I’d originally felt the way that I did about sex.

But this was Utah. His kind of safety came with an all-consuming touch that had the ability to burn the memories right out of my soul.

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

utah

It probably took less than a minute to have every article of clothing between us removed.

If Memphis was the one asking to be saved, I apparently had a fucking savior complex.

There weren’t giggles or jokes this time, though. She wasn’t arguing or picking a fight just for the sake of being difficult to see what I’d do about it. There wasn’t any sass.

There was only a silent plea for connection, for salvation, for freedom.

This wasn’t a time to play with positions or kinks.

She’d wasted no time in shifting underneath me until her knees were raised on either side of my hips. I took both her hands in mine and laced my fingers between hers to hold them above her head against the mattress.

I’d learned pretty quickly that every single time the full length of me was inside her with that first thrust, her back arched, her eyes closed, and the softest sigh came out of her. I had to remind myself this wasn’t the time to respond to those things by turning into an animal who couldn’t get enough, but that was exactly what it did to me internally. I’d spent all this time trying to get her to a place where she was comfortable being out of control of some things without even noticing that she was completely erasing every bit of my own control.

This girl owned me.

In every way.

She could ask me to do anything, tell me to do anything, and I’d be finding a way to make it happen.

“Your hands,” she whispered out on a gasp. “Use your hands, Colt. Please.”

Anything she wanted.

This probably wasn’t the time to praise her for being able to speak up about what she wanted from me. She was after something else tonight.

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