Page 19 of Live for Me

I needed to be anywhere but in this room.

“No, Indy. I was just headed back to my own room,” I said and tried a little harder to free my ankle from Utah’s hand so he’d notice.

He did, and he let go so quickly that I almost felt bad.

I climbed off that bed and found myself standing much too close to him. It really wasn’t any closer than what was probably normal, but the look in his eyes made me feel like the weight of his entire body was on mine.

And just fucking thinking of it that way made all of my skin tingle.

Every square inch of it.

My entire mouth felt like someone had filled it with cotton balls.

And everything between my legs was wet enough again to make up for the lack of moisture elsewhere.

“Guys?” Indy asked from the phone again.

His voice jolted me back to life with the reminder of his presence. Neither of us had said anything for a hot minute.

A hot minute of unpleasant simmering.

“I—um. I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow,” I said, probably not even loud enough for Indy to hear it. I slipped the rest of the way by Utah and could almost breathe again by the time I made it to the door.

Then he grabbed my wrist, and I was ruined once more.

That monster was just inches away from me when I turned to face him that time, and his other hand went right to the side of my face for the pad of his thumb to brush back and forth across my cheek.

“You don’t have to leave,” he whispered. He was intentionally being quiet enough to keep Indy from hearing him.

I couldn’t even argue with him.

There was nothing keeping me from spending the night with him.

I was the queen of single ladies. As in, spent my entire life ruling that classification of women.

And he was?—.

Well, I had no fucking clue, but he damn sure acted like he was into me, too.

Just because I didn’t know how to do a single fucking part of this didn’t mean that I didn’twantto. My brain was just perpetually in the way of what my body thought we might enjoy doing.

In that moment, despite the protests from my brain, I pushed his hand from my face so I could step all the way against his body. And I was so happy my body won that battle, because how was it even possible for another human to feel that good just by standing against them?

He chuckled before he put both arms around me to squeeze me until I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think of a time that I’d ever been that happy to have been deprived of oxygen. He felt like he’d fight the literal air if I asked him to, just to make sure I’d be able to breathe again eventually.

And that was a kind of safety I hadn’t felt since Jersey was here.

Great. Add a fresh wave of sadness to whatever all these other feelings were.

I leaned into Utah as hard as I could for another couple seconds, and his hold on me somehow tightened even further.

“Good night, Utah.”

My heart stopped again when he kissed the top of my head.

He was slowly burning me alive. I thought I died for a few seconds when he kissed my forehead earlier. This was every bit as bad.

He let go of me as soon as I tried to back away.

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