Page 91 of Live for Me

“So, watcha been doing?” he asked and leaned forward on the countertop to rest his chin in his hands.

“Good night, Indy,” I said and continued to push Memphis through the kitchen toward the hallway. She picked up the pace significantly the closer that we made it to her escape from his prying eyes.

“Details in the morning, my friends!” Indy called after us.

“I can never speak to him again,” Memphis whispered when she stopped just outside her door.

“You’re the only one who’s uncomfortable about it, angel. He’s just nosey. And maybe a little pervy.”

She looked from me to her door, and then back to me again before her eyes finally dropped to the floor.

“Is this where I’m supposed to ask if you’ll call me tomorrow?” She asked.

I couldn’t keep from chuckling “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

“No. No, of course not. That’s weird, right? Too much too soon and all that. We haven’t even talked about —. I don’t know what this makes —.”

I stepped all the way against her to squish her into me and kissed the top of her head.

“There’s nothing to overthink, Memphis. I’ll just be upstairs. I’ll be there all night, like I am every other night. I’ll be in the kitchen in the morning, like I am every other morning. If you want me to call you from my own room the moment I open my eyes, I will. You’ll be pissed because it’s earlier than you usually care to consider starting your day, but I’ll do it.”

“There’s no way this is real life,” she whispered into my chest.

“What?”

She shook her head and forced herself back half a step to get some space between us. She stood up on her toes and leaned into me to kiss my cheek.

“Thank you, Utah.”

I waited there until she closed the door between us before I went upstairs to shower and collapse into my own bed to replay the entire day in my mind.

Pleasing a woman had never been something I struggled with. I very much enjoyed it. Controlling how and when a woman fell apart at my command was always pleasant. I’d satisfied women. I’d taken virginity. I didn’t hurt anyone unless they wanted me to. I was willing to do just about anything that was asked of me during sex. Most things were fair game, because why the hell not? It was a fucking blast to give a woman exactly what she wanted.

All of that meant I was a pretty safe bet for a good time.

So, sex wasn’t new for me.

Being involved in sex when it allowed a woman to regain some form of control and power over her own body, and whatever happened in her mind in regard to sex, though? That was brand fucking new. That was most definitely not a role I had ever played. It was probably the tamest I’d ever been as far as the actions themselves were concerned, but I was under the impression it was exactly what she’d needed anyway.

It only took me about a quarter of a second past thinking about the way she’d said my real name before I decided I wanted to be anything Memphis needed. Whether that meant she needed someone to teach her to drive, someone to take her to a bar, someone to look at the stars with, or someone to fuck her right back to life, it was all going to be with me.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

memphis

Itried not to end up in this place.

I really did.

I’d picked all the nail polish off of every fingernail. When that was done, I’d chewed each nail down to the skin.

I wanted him again. In a way that I simply could not make my brain understand. Something absolutely impossible to ignore was happening between my legs. Pulsing, aching, throbbing, soaking. I couldn’t even call it the adrenaline rush of having something new. I couldn’t break it down to the logic of my body just craving that release of endorphins, because my own fingers could technically do the same thing.

But my own fingers just didnotfeel like the things that he’d done.

It really wasn’t the newness that I wanted to feel again.

Though I could imagine that the first time with any new partner would be part of the excitement. It was the pure fucking exhilaration which came from Utah’s stability that had mecravinghim again. He calmed every fire that had ever tortured me, and somehow ignited a brand new one. It was an absurdity that felt like it was a contradiction at a baseline level. And I still hadn’t been able to talk myself out of it.

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