Page 7 of Rekindled Heart

I slowly turn on my booted heel. I nod my head. “I get it. You’ve been put in a tough spot obviously. You were forced toleave and now you’re back. I’m sure that you’ll enjoy seeing your family. I know that they love seeing you and Christopher.”

“That’s true. But there’s something else. I… I can’t give you all the details. But I needed to let you know something and I hope it doesn’t hurt you. Hope it doesn’t change how you feel about me and… things.”

I snort. “I’m not sure anything can change that, Caro. But go ahead and do your worst.”

She sighs and her head drops. “I didn’t want to tell you this way but I guess it’s gonna be bad no matter what. If you find out from my family, well, it would be worse. I guess it’s better from me.”

Running my own hands through my hair, I grunt, “Just tell me whatever the hell you have to say.”

“I… I found out that I was pregnant while I was gone.”

My jaw drops and I look at her, still curvy and slender. I can’t even think what the hell to say.

“I know you’re not gonna believe me and I know that you’re looking at me and wondering why I’m not a lot bigger. And the truth is… I had a miscarriage. It was your baby. I’m afraid that it messed me up for a long time. That’s why I didn’t come back. I just couldn’t face you or my parents.”

“You were pregnant with my child and you didn’t tell me?” Anger roars through me like an out-of-control wildfire.

“I didn’t get much of a chance to do that. I lost the baby within three weeks of finding out that I was pregnant.”

“Are you sure you even were pregnant?” I feel like I want to punch something. Someone. I want to make someone out there hurt as much as I’m hurting right this second. I want to make someone feel as angry and lost as I’m feeling.

She was pregnant with a child. My first child. And I didn’t even know about it.

“I was, yes. But I didn’t know how to come back and tell you and then the… well, you know. I told you. It just about broke me. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to find out from someone else.”

“I need to think about this, Caro. I need some air.”

And I walked away and left her standing there with her mouth hanging open, tears in her shimmering eyes.

I don’t know where the hell I’m walking to. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing or thinking.

But right now… I just need to move.

THREE

Caro

I knewit wasn’t going to be easy. But this was a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

I shouldn’t have blurted it out. Maybe I shouldn’t have come and said anything at all.

But I couldn’t stand seeing him walk away and think that I’d wanted to go. That we didn’t have anything at all. Him not knowing that I had a reason, a very good reason.

I loved him. Love him. But I can tell that that argument is going to get me nowhere.

I left him. I knew that he had issues with women and I walked away even though it was for a good reason.

He doesn’t know that reason and he never can. Nobody can. I’ve got to keep my secret if I want to keep my son happy and healthy.

I sigh and scrub my hand down my face. This is hard. It’s always so hard when you care about someone and you know you’ve fucked up. God knows, I saw it over and over again with my sister and her constant stream of boyfriends.

“I’m really sorry, Ricky. So sorry. But I had to help a… a friend. And then it just wasn’t the right time to come back to explain what happened.”

He turns around and the anger on his face kills me. “You couldn’t be bothered to come back and tell me that you were pregnant with my child before you lost my child. That’s what you’re telling me. And you expect me to just smile and say that’s okay? That’s not okay, Caroline. Not at all. I understand if you say that you didn’t want to be with me anymore and for some reason you ran. People are too selfish to tell important people shit all the time.”

I flinch. Jesus, this is hard. “I really needed to get to my friend. They… they were really sick. They needed me.”

“I needed you, Caroline!” He didn’t raise his voice but he might as well be shrieking at me. My eyes sting with tears.

---