Page 104 of Broken Pieces

Chapter Forty

Brooks

I gather my phone, keys, and wallet from the police desk as I head out into the bright sunny day. I sit down on the bench outside the county jail waiting for Brett to pick me up. I’m nervous as hell. I should have listened to Mac and told Rae. I don’t know if I thought I could keep this secret from her forever. But I sure as hell didn’t think someone would have told her, especially that prick Michael Hardy.

I’ve made myself crazy over the last few weeks wondering what she is going to say to me when she sees me. If she is going to say anything at all. All I can picture is her broken face when I got hauled off by the cops. And I did that to her. I broke her again. She didn’t need to tell me, I saw it on her face. I am scared that I may have ruined her for life. Everything I did to rebuild that timid, scared girl into an astonishingly beautiful and confident woman has probably been thrown away. Her ashes scattered in the winds of the storm.

I’ll never be able to press her small, tight body into my arms.

I’ll never be able to smell the trace of lilac in her hair and sugar lacing her skin.

I’ll never be able to look into those daring emerald eyes and see the truth of both our souls in them.

I’ve ruined the one thing that made me feel whole again.

I pinch my eyes shut with my fingers, holding back tears I don’t deserve. This was all my doing. And I need to live with the consequences.

The sound of a truck pulling up knocks me from my thoughts. I look up and see my brother with an unpleasant look on his face. I walk around to the passenger side of the truck and grab the handle when I notice someone in the front seat.

The last person I want to see.

My father.

“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. No wonder Brett had that look on his face. I was surprised I hadn’t heard from my dad at all when I was in jail. Surprised not to get a lecture from him once again on how I was fucking up my entire life. Now I know why. And he’s had two weeks to stew on it and build it into a huge deal.

I take a deep breath as I open the back door and climb in.

“Hey,” my brother says as he glances over his shoulder at me.

I just nod my head at him in response.

Silent tension blankets the truck for the first ten minutes of the drive. I haven’t even dared a look at my father.

When we are halfway back to the farm, he finally speaks, “You promised me, Brooks. You promised me that you wouldn’t drink, you wouldn’t touch drugs, you wouldn’t fight.” There is a sternness to his voice that I know is holding back anger, though I am not sure how long it will last before he releases it. “It took you all of three months on your own to break my rules. I will not let a son of mine destroy our family name like you have.”

I clench my fists to keep myself from yelling, releasing my pent-up anger at myself. “I haven’t touched drugs, Dad.”

“Am I supposed to be proud of the fact that you only broke two of my rules then, Brooks?” The sarcasm in his voice is so sharp, I can feel the blade piercing my heart.

I allow myself three deep breaths before I answer. “I punched that asshole in the face because he was being repulsive and demeaning to someone.”

“You punched that ‘asshole’ six times. You broke his jaw and his nose. You should feel lucky he isn’t pressing charges against you or else you would have been in prison, Brooks, not jail. And you would have been there a long time.” His disdain for me coats his tongue.

“He deserved it,” I mutter, stupidly.

“He deserved it? No one deserves that, Brooks. That is what you need to learn. You think you play some role of God in everything. That you decide the fate of everyone. You don’t. You are nothin’ compared to most people in this world. You cannot even make it three months without getting drunk and fighting. And over what, a girl? A girl that probably won’t mean anything to you by next week. Because you have no respect for them or anyone. Use them and throw them out.”

I lose it. I can’t take hearing this from my father. I already broke Rae’s heart and I don’t need to hear him disrespect what we had. “Fuck you, Dad. That wasn’t just some girl. That girl meant more to me that anyone has ever meant to me in my life. She fixed me, she made me feel like I was a better man. I loved her. And I tore her world apart that night.” I start to break down, anxiety rolling through me as it hits me harder than it has ever hit me before that I have truly lost her. “I would have married her. If I didn’t shatter the pieces of her heart.”

I collapse into my hands, trying to breathe deeply to relax the tension in my body.

Brett stretches his arm over the seat and puts his hand on my shoulder before he speaks. “I have kept out of the feud between you two for years. But I have had enough of it. I am sick of being caught in the middle. Brooks, you need to stop acting like a child sometimes and before you even try to cut me off, let me finish.”

I lean back in the seat, the words I was going to say sit bitterly on my tongue.

“You need to learn to be more responsible sometimes, Brooks. Fighting isn’t always the best option. Drinking isn’t always the best option. And thank god you have not touched drugs while living on my property. But I have seen you improve the last three months. So Dad, you better start listening…” He glances back over the seat at me before looking at Dad, I nod in acceptance while my dad keeps looking forward, anger prevalent on his red face and neck.

“…Brooks, I’ve seen you change. I don’t see the angry boy who used alcohol and fists to cure his problems. You don’t go out drinking all the time, in fact, the few times we do go out, you barely drink. That night two weeks ago was an exception. And I don’t know what happened that night or what was going through your mind, but I know you weren’t acting normal.

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