Page 48 of The Ghost of You

“Not really.”

Mason pulls on my arm as I put my guitar away. “Oh come on Anna May, The Sparrows could have been the next Bon Iver or Fleet Foxes.”

“Umm, on what planet?” I ask, stunned at the comparisons.

“You were practically The Postal Service, without the huge final tour.”

I shake my head. “Please don’t compare me to Jenny Lewis.”

“I know you’ve heard it before.”

I pull away from him. “And it’s always been a horrible comparison!” I shout.

He must notice I am visibly upset because he backs away and takes a shot of tequila from the open bottle on the table. “Look, I’m sorry. I’ve just always idolized your songwriting skills. I didn’t realize it brought back such bad memories.”

I fight back tears thinking of my past. “I would just rather be known as Anna May Cooper now.”

“Really? Anna May?”

“It looks better on album jackets,” I laugh.

Mason snorts as I pick up my bag and throw it over my shoulder. “I don’t know when you are free again but I have recording sessions the next three days then it’s Thanksgiving. Maybe we can do more writing at night if you have time or we might need to wait till next week.”

I really don’t want to wait until next week to play music again. I feel like it’s finally working as therapy for the first time in years. Although I can barely play at home still. But baby steps. One day I will be able to write on my own again. I think.

“I guess we’ll wait until after the holiday. I have to work the next three nights.”

“Not a problem,” he says. “You working Thanksgiving?”

I shake my head. “Nope. I actually get two full days off from my jobs this week.”

“You going to see your family?”

“Uhh, no. Just going to spend my day alo—with my friends.”

He squints at me like he doesn’t believe me. “Okay, Anna May.”

“Just text me when you’re free.”

He nods. “See ya.”

I walk out the door and take a deep breath. I hate when he brings up The Sparrows. The name alone feels like an omen. Not to mention Thanksgiving. Seraphina and Liam both invited me to have it with them but I can’t. I can’t do any holidays. Every single one of them is a reminder of my loss. I am much happier alone on those days, pretending like it’s any other day. Because normal days are easier to handle. I’ve taught myself how to survive on those days.

* * *

Ifone more person brings up Thanksgiving I am going to murder them in my sleep. Seraphina asked me yesterday and today like she is expecting me to change my mind but I don’t want to go to whatever hippie thing she is planning.

My coworkers at Jimmy’s won’t let up on me either. Last night and tonight they all invited me over to their houses but it would be weird having dinner with people I don’t know. Faking a smile the whole day, acting like I care about whatever family drama is going on. I have enough family drama to worry about.

I just want to get through this one shift so I can be off tomorrow in peace. Finally have a day alone and maybe just maybe write some music on my own.

I step outside to take a breather while all my tables are eating when my phone rings. I look down and see my sister’s name. I don’t want to answer, but after my conversation with Becca and the news that her boyfriend was going to propose, I decide it’s better to answer it.

“Hey Jess.”

“Wow. I cannot believe you actually answered a call from your own flesh and blood. Are you feeling okay?”

I roll my eyes. “I’m beginning to think I’m not.” I cough into the phone. “Yep, think I am coming down with something.”

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