Page 13 of The Ghost of You

But that towel fell off her and she stood in front of me, not even bothering to cover up her sexy body.

Anna is all curves in the right places, toned and trim in the others.

I had to will my dick to stay down when I took her in.

Her breasts sat like teardrops heavy against her chest. Her waist slim around her stomach. A tattoo of daisies sat across her ribs, partially hidden by her breast. Her curvy hips begging to be grabbed. I knew that ass was just as luscious, I had seen it enough times in the yoga pants she wears.

But her body wasn’t the only thing that turned me on. The surprise on her face was beautiful. The way her body didn’t lie to tell me she was embarrassed but her face said a different story. I could see her taking me in, see her liking what she saw, just like the other day. Except this time she got to see what she missed out on before.

I step into the shower and turn on the water. The thought of her naked turning my dick to steel. If she was any other woman, I would have pounced on her. Claimed her as mine for the night. But she is my neighbor, the girl next door in more ways than one.

I try to ignore the feelings but I can smell her in my shower. I see her body wash and use it instead of my own. With each lather down my body, my hand draws nearer to my throbbing dick and within no time, I am gripping it and stroking it, getting off on the thought of those innocent eyes on me as if she was kneeling on the shower floor in front of me. That splattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks looking up at me through hooded eyes as she sucks me off.

I explode over the shower wall, feeling guilty for getting off on the thought of her. I rinse off and grab her things, placing them in the bag of clothes she left behind. I find another bag and I can tell by the smell it’s her dirty clothes. I run them down to the basement and throw them in the wash.

I make my way back upstairs, Brutus following close behind, and collapse onto my bed. Thoughts of Anna invade my brain and I know I won’t be able to concentrate if I try and study tonight. I lay down and think of anything but the girl next door.

* * *

I rollover and hit snooze on my blaring alarm clock. I wish I could sleep a few more hours but I know that extra sleep will keep me up late. I try hard to be on as normal of a schedule as possible when I have my days off. But it’s not easy.

When the alarm goes off again, I roll over and find Brutus lying next to me.

Asshole.

He knows he’s not supposed to sleep on my bed.

I sit up and let my satin sheets fall off me. I grab my sweats from the floor and open my blinds. I figure it best Asheville doesn’t need to see my balls when I let the light in.

I look down and see Anna pulling into her driveway. Her body immediately flashes through my mind making my dick stir. I need to leave her alone. I feel guilty about last night. I should have knocked on the bathroom door.

I make my way downstairs and clean up the mess in my living room. God, she probably thought I am a slob. This house is a mess. I wish I had the energy to make it a home. But I don’t. Not since Claire.

I walk into my half-finished kitchen and throw dishes in the sink and empty bottles and cans in the trash. I should work on this today. Maybe finish installing the new cabinets sitting wrapped in my basement. Maybe head out to the store and pick out countertops.

I bought this house for the projects to keep my mind busy, keep my mind away from Claire. But every time I try to tackle a new project I ask myself if she would approve. My brothers would punch me if they knew. Hell, half the police department would do the same.

But it’s hard. The last five years have been hard. I loved Claire more than anything in the world. I would be lying to myself if I said I don’t anymore. Our lives were perfect. We had the perfect wedding, the adorable three-bedroom house, ready to be filled with kids. I was happy. I was in love. I thought she was too.

Until that day I came home and something felt off. I had already had a shit day. There was a terrible accident and I had to let two families know they would never be seeing their children again. I remember feeling numb after that. My partner and I went out for drinks. I never drink more than a beer when I go out but that day I drank five. I was devastated over the loss. It hit me so hard, thinking that one day one of my friends may do the same thing if my future children weren’t careful.

My partner drove me home. I remember walking into my quiet house. I figured Claire was out with her friends. But noticed none of the lights were on. I was always giving her a hard time for leaving lights on when no one was home but she always did. I went into our bedroom and all my clothes were where I left them on the floor. She always picked them up. She was always cleaning up after me. Confused, I walked into the kitchen. The dishes were still sitting in the sink I had left in the morning, a pan sitting on the stove I never put away. Then I saw the note on the kitchen table.

She was gone.

She couldn’t be with me anymore.

That was all it said.

To this day I still beat myself up over drinking those five beers. Maybe if I had only had one she would have been packing her things when I walked in the door. I would have been able to convince her to stay. Maybe if I hadn’t been so hard on her for the lights. Maybe if I had been better about cleaning up after myself.

I miss her despite the heartache she put me through.

I open the drawer in the kitchen where I keep the picture of us from our wedding day. It’s the only one I have. The rest are in storage, packed up and hidden from me by my brothers and parents.

I lean over the counter, my head resting on my forearms. My chest aches at the loss. Of not knowing where she is. Not knowing if she thought she made a mistake. It hurts more to think she moved on. That she found a man who could make her happier than I did.

I need a distraction.

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